A Dedication For My Comrades, My Friends, The Lights of My Heart

For all of you...

Inspiring indeed...

Sajak seorang kekasih..

Seandainya kau tangisi kematian ku

Dan kau siram pusaraku dengan air matamu

Maka di atas tulangku yang hancur luluh

Nyalakanlah obor buat umat mulia ini

Dan teruskan perjalanan ke gerbang jaya

Kematian ku adalah suatu perjalanan

Mendapatkan kekasih yang sedang merinduku

Taman-taman di syurga bangga menerimaku

Burang-burung berkicau riang menyambutku

Bahagialah hidupku di alam abadi

Puaka kegelapan pasti akan hancur

Dan alam ini akan disinari fajar lagi

Biarlah ruh ku terbang mendapatkan rinduNYa

Janganlah gentar berkelana di alam abadi

nun di sana fajar sedang memancar

syed qutb

Tolong tunjuk jalan??

Yesterday was another shopping day. Hahaha, two days of shopping, the boxing day (26/12) and yesterday (27/12). Our target (me and my crazy housemate whose name is to be kept confidential due to security reasons) was NEXT CLEARANCE. Kih3....

We went out at 830am... my GOD, were we crazy?? Nah, it was bcoz our friend form Nottingham had to catch her bus at 10.30, and she wants to go shopping as well...[alasan cover line ;D]

[At least we did not go out at 5 in the morning!]

Then, we were done by 12.30 (after much hurrying by me). I ended up buying only a pair of dress, but my housemate spent quite a lot...

While waiting for the Free City Bus (this is when laziness strikes in and we have no energy to walk back home), a lady came up to us...

She was holding a piece of paper which I assumed to be a map. She asked, "You speak English? You read English alright??"

I was thinking :
"Eh, this lady wants us to show her way through Leeds... Hmm, do really know Leeds??"

Then, suddenly, she gave us this paper she was holding.

"This tells you about Heaven bla bla bla... [I remembered she mentioned Bible but I can't remember what exactly that she said. Something to do with Heaven and Bible.

Then, she said, "You're Muslims aren't you? You believe in Heaven don't you? So do we."

[Erks... who's we??]

"I'm a Jehovah's Witness... Please take this..."

I thought again, it was funny that I thought she wanted to ask for directions.

Uhuhu, my first encounter with a Jehovah's Witness. And my first time being 'preached' like-wise... SHOCKING!!! It not offensive (not to my perspective). She was very kind and smiling... I'm yet to read the paper (which turn out to be a brochure) so I can't comment on that yet...

Hmm... I remembered a lesson about characteristics of Allah's servant is to walk on earth with humbleness and when someone mocks them, they reply with peace... Subhanallah... such a noble character Allah teaches us. Can we be that?? No, we MUST be that! How beautiful it is being presented in the Qur'an..

And the servants of ((Allah)) Most Gracious are those who walk on the earth in humility, and when the ignorant address them, they say, "Peace!" (Al-Furqaan 25:63)

Tukar mood plak

I was a bit emotional just now... This is me when I don't have any idea to write my soon-to-be-dued-essay. Isk isk isk...

Last week was minggu tautan ukhuwah.... Bestnye!!!!

I love Islam. I love the brotherhood. And I love when Rasulullah made Ansar and Muhajirun brothers... Subhanallah.... urwatul wusqa...

Xde nak cite.. buat digital story la nnt ye....


TUNGGUUUUUUU......

Bila ia diketuk... Tok Tok Tok...

Tok Tok Tok... Assalamualaikum!!!!! [harus dibaca dgn gaya kemelayuan kita...]

Familiar? Hihi, who doesn't? Or at least I do that. But I knock only twice, then I barge in. Hehehe, sorry my friends...

But that's not the point.

My last post was December 2nd, a few days before my exams. I misses my parents terribly, with tense from studying and stuff, and my timetable made me kept on missing their calls or that everytime they wanted to call, my eyes would be half-closed as it would be almost midnight...sigh~~

Nonetheless, that has passed. Dah cakap with my super duper uber cute parents (ntah nape, though they are my parents, rase derang ni cute sgt....COMEL NYE MY PARENTS!!!)

Now it's a new me.

For the past month (inclusive the days/weeks prior to 2nd Dec 07), I felt I was knocked numerous times. Someone knocked on my door. The door to my heart.

Firstly when I went to this programme. This ustaz was telling : Know why am I here talking stuff to you guys? To let you guys DIE!

What??? This ustaz has gotta be real. He wants us to die?? Gulp!!!

MATI SYAHID - Cita tertinggi kami

That was among the lines of our Gagasan Nuqaba' back in KMB. Dah lupe ke Munirah? I asked myself. When 'mati syahid' as mentioned again, I felt I was gunned down. How can I forget my aim? [Time ni muka Asy-Syahid Hassan al-Banna flashing in my head] Astaghfirullah. How can I forget what I've lived for? How I can forget what my real dream is? Where did Munirah who wanted syahid go? Da'ei yg syahid di jalan Allah... mane pi da'ei tu? Is she sleeping? Or has she deviated. Nauzubillah.

Second, when my sweet friend gave a tazkirah on a pencil. A pencil has to experience painful sharpening, for it to do its job better. A Muslim has to endeavour thorns, for her to achieve more. Dakwah tu susah... panjang... bersabarlah... Another knock. Why have I been crying so much just because exams, or someone merajuk, or orang buat x peduli?? Whereas for missing my Qiyams, my tadarrus, my sadaqah I have yet to shed tears? Where is the Munirah si kakak semangat yang x kisah susah?? Susah sikit nangis... orang buat x layan sikit nangis... kisah lagi kat orang lain?? Nape x kuat lagi ni?? Allah kisah, x nangis pulak?? Astaghfirullah...

Thirdly... during gathering. Another word mentioned that I've never take heed for a long time.

IZZAH.

Just a name of a friend??

NEVER!!!

proud2bemuslim_girl - used to be my identity. How I was proud of it. Carrying the title a Muslim girl. Subhanallah. How wonderful those times were... Little Khalifah of Allah. But when the email was hacked, I lost it. But did I lose who I am as well? Even when I want to pray at the park I felt conscious. Should I be? Should I be praying while hiding behind the bushes so that others would not see? Where is the Izzah? Astagfirullah... how can I forget my dear friend Izzatul Islam?? How can I prevent my dear 'intan payung' from meeting my heart?

How many things have I forgotten??

But Subhanallah... a prove that Allah swt still takes care of me. Alhamdulillah, He does not desert me when I need Him. He knocked my door, 4 hard times. Each time, the knocks spelled words.

1. Mati syahid
2. Pain
3. Izzah
4. Determination

How did I forget my determination to walk on this path I chose? How did I forget my determination to embrace the pain, walk with izzah towards martyrdom?

Astaghfirullah...I have forgotten a lot of of things...

Alhamdulillah... I have friends who remind me when I forget, though sometimes they never realize...

Thank you my friends...

Thank you Allah...

O Allah, please don't ever let me go astray. Don't let me deviate away from your path. Don't let me pass the honour to become your da'ei to someone else. Help me in carrying out my duties ya Allah... Guide me... guide me... guide me... Ameen...

:(

Suddenly I miss them. Tremendously.

Ya Allah, please give me strength. Just a little bit more. Let me grow strong. Help me grow strong.

One Down, Lots More to Go!!

Alhamdulilah, HIV presentation is DONE!! And the leaflet as well!!


And I get the same comment : You did it confidently. Ahaks, only God knows how I was trEmbliNg inside! Nonetheless, alhamdulillah, syukur sangat dh lepas. Even though it's an formative thingy i.e. not getting into our final marks, this is my first presentation. Well, second if you want to include my first PPD session. Huhuhu, I was so nervous. My groupmates didn't even twitch! Hmm...



Asyik nervous je nih.. susah la hidup!! But, nervousness is good. It makes me feel I'm not a superwoman that I always need support and help from others, and especially from HIM, God the Almighty. But, it's killing me. Killing me softly...

Well, at least it's done, and got a couple of good reviews. Phew==--

Reminds me of a girl I talked to. I gave her a 'love letter' sent by someone to me:

"Allah tasketh not a soul beyond its scope. For it (is only) that which it hath earned, and against it (only) that which it hath deserved. Our Lord! Condemn us not if we forget, or miss the mark! Our Lord! Lay not on us such a burden as thou didst lay on those before us! Our Lord! Impose not on us that which we have not the strength to bear! Pardon us, absolve us and have mercy on us, Thou, our Protector, and give us victory over the disbelieving folk" (Al-Baqarah 2:286)

Addition to the Family

Note to Everyone : I am officially a Mak Cik, to a baby boy whose name is yet to be thought of.

Hahaha....Alhamdulillah.. my 'Kak Long' gave birth to the first 3rd Gen of Kasim's family. He weighed 3.3kg... kinda heavy don't you think??

[Teringat time my lil sis baru lahir...really really miss her...]

17th of November 2007, 1430 hours...

Wa!!! I wanna go back home!!! [Sabar... Sabar... 7months to go]

The news came when my dad texted me at about 5am UK time. -Dah nak bersalin. Dah kat hospital.- I was like..."What??!!" Then logic set into place, Subhanallah...kak long!!!

He is super duper cute...

Hohoho...by the time I'm home he would be crawling like mad I think.

One very good news to strengthen my will to go on. Another three weeks to exam. Another 3 weeks to winter holidays... C'mon Leeds, bring it on!!!

O Allah... I'm tensing out. Please, help me...Guide me and make my stronger, make my heart stronger...

Great things happen...

Whoa!! Had a very good weekend...

Went for paintball in Nottingham... or somewhere there. Stayed at seniors' house, met my classmate (supposedly classmates) but one could not make it..:(

Back in Leeds, big massive headache and body ache. Ouch!

And just now, my first bonfire and fireworks. YAY! Lasted for only 45 minutes. Bonfire starts at 7, fireworks 7.30pm, by 745, everything's done. Huhu. Really nice!

The bonfire was really big. And it was HOT!!! Subhanallah... it's only 3-5 storeys high, and the fire is still orange in colour. And orange is the coldest of all!

The fire of Allah's Jahannam takes 1000 years to become orange, another 1000 to become white, and another 1000 to become black. This black fire will burn anything. Nauzubillahi min zalik...

O Allah, please, protect us from the hellfire...

"The (faithful) slaves of the Beneficent are they who walk upon the earth modestly, and when the foolish ones address them answer: Peace. And who spend the night before their Lord, prostrate and standing. And who say: Our Lord! Avert from us the doom of hell; lo! the doom thereof is anguish. Lo! it is wretched as abode and station" (Al-Furqan 25 : 63-66)

Exam...

Today is my practical exam.

Exam...

Today is my practical exam.

+ve.......and loving it!

A friend said to me, I am a +ve person.

Frankly, it is a compliment to me. I get it a lot. But everytime a person say this to me, it makes me wonder...am I really?

I wasn't when I first came to college. It was down right negative. If there's a scale, I would be in the position where it is infinitely negative. I was so low that I thought of quitting the whole thing. But Alhamdulillah, He gave me strength to move on, a place to cry and seek help, and a love letter that will keep me company the whole time.

And due to that, I am +ve right now. I am +ve that I will survive med-school. I've survived college. It's just an extension of another 5 years.

So what makes me a +ve person? I guess my belief in Allah has made me this. He will take care of everything. There's nothing to worry about. Just do your best!

Hmm... reminds me of a campaign wehad back in school. "I am a +ve Muslim" campaign. Everyone was given this badge with the saying on it. We wear it every single day, becomes our school badge since we didn't have any. but the fact is, it kept reminding myself to think positive. It's only think positive of yourself or the consequences of your actions, but also of other people, their thoughts and actions. Sounds familiar?

It does as that is was Islam teaches. Think +ve.

"That ye grieve not for the sake of that which hath escaped you, nor yet exult because of that which hath been given. Allah loveth not all prideful boasters" (Al-Hadid 57:22)

Ayam Masak Paprik

Alhamdulillah... at last my hunger for nasi and ayam paprik is satiated. (pardon me for the sentence structure. I think satiated is wrong here, but just couldn't find another word!)

Huhu, never made paprik before. Even my mom doesn't make it. So, the only place I eat paprik is when I'm at the college, back in matrix, or sumwhere out with my friends or some warung visit with my dad...

It's not that hard. You can just chuck almost anything in. Here's how I did it, though the 'wangi'-ness of daun limau purut is not there...

Half of baby chicken - enough for four people for a meal
Cauliflower
Cabbage
1 Carrot
Quarter of an onion (some people put two whole ones!)
2 cloves<-- is this the right word? of garlic
3 slices of ginger
5 desert spoon oyster sauce
2 desert spoon tomato sauce
1 desert spoon dark soy sauce
1 tea spoon custard powder
2 cups pf water (I think!)

and... what makes all the serai and tomatoes unnecessary .... 1 tomyam cube.

Hehehe, and don't forget salt.

Yum yum... Thank you Allah for the nikmah of food...

"For the protection of the Qureaish. Their protection during their trading caravans in the winter and the summer. So let them serve the Lord of this House. Who feeds them against hunger and gives them security against fear." (Al-Quraysh 106 : 1-4)

Years gone...

Yesterday was 4th Syawal 1428. 20 years ago, I was born. Huhu... can't believe I'm already 20 years old... And in 3 years, I can build a daulah Islamiyah ... Rasullullah (s.a.w) took only 23 years to change a zero to a hero. He unleashed Umar al-Khattab, Khalid Al-Walid, Abbas, Ali and many more. His best friend, Abu Bakr was always with him. Subhanallah... how wonderful the blessing of ukhuwah in Islam.. Can you find it somewhere else??

My housemate made a surprise for me. They baked a cake for my birthday!! Well, I helped as well but I didn't know they were baking it for me. Since yesterday was not my cooking day, I stayed out of the kitchen. We had iftar together... it was our first day of puasa 6 this year. Best gils pose ngan housemate!

Then, I thought of having moreh at night... not really at night, about 830 or so.. but since iftar is at 615, so, ok la...

So I went into the kitchen... knowing that I will have some cake. But, when I saw the cake... I went... "Haa!! Ape ni??"


Terharu sesangat derang buatkan kek besday... Huhu... or maybe derang saje je nak suro kite jadi 20tahun... huhu...next year ye...

So, since we have another birthday coming up this January, my housemate has already said that she wants a cake.. and I kinda know what kind of cake I want to make for her...Hmmm...

Well, this is the ukhuwah we've develped after a month living together... I just cannot wait for the outcome after one year living together... Subhanallah...

"O Allah, we thank you for the bounty You've given us. Please, don't let us go astray with the pleasure of the world... Let us be close to You in the Akhirah. Help us, gude us, as You are the best Guide, the Only Guide..." Ameen...

Moving into Transitions

I've moved!!!

There had been numerous transitions in my life and I think, I had the most number of transitions, back to back, this past month. Seriously, can it get better/worse?

First it was moving out of the house, jump on the plane, and flew 10 000km across Asia and Europe. Then the weather transition which I've not experienced any shock, thanx to Kementerian Pelajaran Malaysia and MARA who sent me to Korea and Russia in the summer 06 and 07. Huhu

From a school girl to a University student, or particularly a med-stud a.k.a Student Doctor.. hehe

Then finally, from Carr Mills, to Lyddon Terrace.. Carr Mills was 30minutes walk from campus. But I enjoyed walking. I loved walking. I enjoyed the scenery, the part where we had to make suicidal road crossing plus the neighbours. huhu.

Now, I'm living about 5minutes brisk walking from school, have one couple living downstairs and practically no roads to cross. isk isk isk, I can still feel the thrill of going back to Carr Mills... I LOVED IT!!! But now, all that is left for love is memories.

Nah... gotta forget all these nitty gritty stuffs. But one thing for sure. My heater in Carr Mills wasn't working, so I complained and they gave me a portable heater that works wonders. And now, Lyddon has a centralised heating BUT, the whole system isn't working!!

I am COLD!!! I'm wearing 4 layers of clothes. My turtle neck which is supposed to work like a blanket as it is made of acrylic, my t shirt, my cardigan, and a sweatshirt (credit to my housemate whose jacket I made it like mine!!)and I'm still cold. Even my extremely hot laptop (back in Malaysia) is cooled...now that is cool! But the heater part, ain't cool at all... Plus, it's cold these few days and I bet it's gonna get colder tomorrow...

OK. I have to get someone to come here. Desperatly need it.

Then I remembered, Allah's Hellfire is VERY VERY HOT. None of us would want to got there... Then I read an article, saying that if someone goes through Ramadhan without achieving anything, that person is the poorest of all. He lost the chance of Night of Power, the chance of getting your ibadah 70x more, plus a full care and treatment for body and soul. All he gets is tiredness and hunger.

There's only 3 days left... what have I done??

"The Great Disaster! What the Great Disaster is? the Day when men shall be like scattered moths and the mountains like carded wool of different colours. Then he whose scales are heavy, shall be in a state of bliss, and he whose scales are light, shall have the deep pit for his dwelling. And what do you know what it is? A raging Fire!"
(Al-Qari'ah 101 : 1-11)

Hanyalah untuk Allah.. Ibadah itu Cinta, berkasih denganNya

PMS

No no, this is not Pre-Menstrual Syndrome... It's actually Perhimpunan Musim Sejuk, organised by MSM (Majlis Syura Muslimun)

Webpage

Hmm, how wonderful. A lot of prgorammes to go, a lot of places to visit. First this one, then to Dublin for PUISI... huhu, sounds nice doesn't it?

Oh yeah, did I tell you how much it cost? Nah, cost doesn't really matter. It only matters when you don't have the money. Like right now. I'm supposed to go to York tomorrow. But guess what? I've only got GBP27.51 in my wallet, and the trip costs about 20pounds!! Isk isk... how am I suppose to go to York??? It's gonna be nice if I can.

But, wealth comes from Allah. If He wants, He will give it to us. Thinking again, if this is one way that I'll be closer to Him by seeing the greatness of His creation, wealth is something I can give away...

So, York anyone??

"Spend your wealth for the cause of Allah, and make not your hands contribute to your destruction; and do good. Lo! Allah loves those who are beneficent" Al-Baqarah 2:195

Upin dan Ipin

I was browsing through youtube for the upcoming PUISI 2007 just now. Then I saw this link to a cartoon, Malaysian made called Upin dan Ipin. It's about two brothers, I believe they are twins, going through Ramadhan for the first time... huhu, I still remember my first Ramadhan...

I was seven when I started fasting. Everyday, my mom would ask me if I want to fast the next day. And as enthusiastic as I am, I said YES! So, days begin. My mom said I cannot eat nor drink.. Isk isk, laparnye... and very x10 thirsty. So, everytime I take my wudhu', I took a sip (em... more like a gulp I think) of the water.. TAP WATER!! Huhu, darurat la... Then I said to myself, "Tu bukan minum, terminum la... amek wudhu basah..." Hehe, I was so in denial...

Then there was once, my mom was cooking iftar, using kerisik. I love kerisik. Sangat sangat suke. So, my first trip to the kitchen, I saw it. Then I took a pinch. I left. 5 minutes later, I came in again. Huhu. Then, I was so scared that my mom would find out, I took the packet out, went outside, hid behind my car and ate. I can't remember whether I ate the whole packet. But the thing is, my mom realised that her kerisik is missing (there was another packet.. how can she??) Then she asked me.. "Munirah, ade amek kerisik x??" Then I replied.. "Mane ade, kan puase, mane bleh makan.." Huhu, I was such a big fat lair. Seriously! But, clearlyI was the guilty one. Isk isk, kantoi!! My mom put in me in a trial. I still remember sitting on the floor, with my mom, my big sis and bro on the sofa. Wah!! I was so scared. My mom was so angry. She wasn't angry about me not fasting, but about me lying to her... huhu... bongok nye anak ibu ni mase tu..

So, later that night, my mom asked again, "Nak pose x?" And I said, "X nak la.." hehe, bukan nak insaf, x pose terus.. huhu.

Watching the video... reminded me of how "tough" Ramadhan is. Now I'm older and more matured, Ramadhan is no longer about abstinence from food and drinks, but from things that la lagha, sinful, and such. A tazkirah given by Kak Ain Kpm yesterday (they had iftar at our home, me cooking...ngeh3) touched on that Ramadhan is the month to cleanse our system, from viruses, trojans and bugs of all sorts. Coz for the last 11 months, nafsu n syaitan have been planting those in our system..

So,use this month fully to defrag, reformat and install very x10 strong anti virus, anti trojans and pesticides(eh, xde kaitan.)

YOSH!! 23 days more!! Quick!!

Link to Upin and Ipin : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FbM0DzHpVrI

Leeds...

Alhamdulillah... This is my third day in Leeds and Subhanallah, such a wonderful place, with lots of people.. and lots of Muslims... It was such a nice feeling going to the Green Room (like a surau on campus) as the feeling of ukhuwwah.. Wah!! best nye!!

B4 that, we met a new friend from Trinidad n Tobago.. My, she had 3 big bags with her, an two small ones... I'm wondering if we had not been there to help her, who's going to?? Huhu, luckily she booked the Meet and Greet service... an she was fine.. Hope to see her again on campus. She's doing broadcasting.

Then our seniors picked us up... Mahal gile derang charge... 25pounds per person... Guess how much it costs in total?? But, thanx to them, we weren't lost...TAPI!! Amek advantage ke atas budak baru blaja yang tgh kaya raya... cis!

Then, yesterday... went shopping like hell. Beli bantal, pinggan mangkuk and stuffs. It totaled up to more than 50 pounds! Imagine spending more than rm300 within one day, on yourself! Mahalnye dok sengsorang...ini pon food juz for one day..

Well, my housemates and I are going shopping again today... and we have to buy some more stuffs... One day punye food pon dah cost about 7pounds... Sekali beli abes rm50... abes duit ku...

Luckily my dad gave me extra cash... an I have my Russian roubles.. Fuh!


Well, that's it for today. Hope things goes well.. Hope I can cope with things around here... Insya-allah..So I believe what Allah s.w.t says,

"Allah does not burden any human being with a responsibility heavier than he can bear." (Al-Baqarah 2:286)

Still In The Making (without holes)

Huhu, if I postpone my post to another day.. it would be exactly a month since my last post... But, I don't want to do that, or to have that. Hehe, I have tonnes of things to tell, fromthe 3D convention in CUCMS, the daurah I had last two weeks which talked about dakwah and futur (ouch!) and the things that went on this hectic month. To top it all, my flight is yet to be confirmed, and I am suppose to be flying off tomorrow.. I repeat, TOMORROW!

Ok, the reason that pushed me to really write this time was a call from my friend last night.. or should I say really really early in the morning? Who on earth calls another person at 12midnight? Cheaper rate eh?? No no, I am not mad, just shocked, and flattered ;)

Thanx to the friend who called... So sorry that my flight is postponed... Bebudak tu dah plan nak g esok dah..Seb baik kt baik n x tipu derang... keh3..

Huhu, I really want to write about what I got from the 3D convention, a really nice sharing moments with doctors, aspiring ones and real ones.. and also the daurah... But I have to wait first coz really need to settle my shopping spree.. hehe

Hmm... just finished reading "Fikah Luar Negara" Now I want to start with Asas-Asas Islam.. Hav been ying to get a hold of this book and NOW, I Shall begin!


"Read, with the name of YOUR LORD who has created (everything)..."

notice my post down there?? hehe, made a mistake with the colour... I thought I wanted black (since on the edit section it is black in colour) whereas I need white actually... oops.. But, kinda cue don't u think?? I think I'll repost.. But this one down here, I'll leave it as it is... hehe

Still In The Making

Huhu, if I postpone my post to another day.. it would be exactly a month since my last post... But, I don't want to do that, or to have that. Hehe, I have tonnes of things to tell, fromthe 3D convention in CUCMS, the daurah I had last two weeks which talked about dakwah and futur (ouch!) and the things that went on this hectic month. To top it all, my flight is yet to be confirmed, and I am suppose to be flying off tomorrow.. I repeat, TOMORROW!

Ok, the reason that pushed me to really write this time was a call from my friend last night.. or should I say really really early in the morning? Who on earth calls another person at 12midnight? Cheaper rate eh?? No no, I am not mad, just shocked, and flattered ;)

Thanx to the friend who called... So sorry that my flight is postponed... Bebudak tu dah plan nak g esok dah..Seb baik kt baik n x tipu derang... keh3..

Huhu, I really want to write about what I got from the 3D convention, a really nice sharing moments with doctors, aspiring ones and real ones.. and also the daurah... But I have to wait first coz really need to settle my shopping spree.. hehe

Hmm... just finished reading "Fikah Luar Negara" Now I want to start with Asas-Asas Islam.. Hav been ying to get a hold of this book and NOW, I Shall begin!


"Read, with the name of YOUR LORD who has created (everything)..."

World Map of Happiness

I was browsing through the Internet just now to find some stuffs... Then, I stumbled upon this research by University of Leicester, a uni I once hoped to get into... Know what I found??

The World Map of Happiness...

I am just happy looking at the name.. ahaha.

Well, happiness is mainly gauged by wealth, health and education (the page mentioned something out correlation but... IB stats ruled out this one... so, have no clue about them!) What's more interesting is that, Malaysia's in the top 20, at no. 17 to be exact, on top of all Asian countries, except for Brunei. Yes, Brunei did better than us. They made it to top 10 in fact...

Whoa!! Isn't that amazing?? So, can we conclude that Malaysians are a bunch of happy people?? I can say that I am!

Oh, you can try and visit this page... don't have the full listing though...

http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/48276.php

Happy happy happy me!!

But, you know what's the ultimate happiness?? A love for family, friends, and foes... yup,, foes included... AND not forgetting, Lots of love for Allah, Ar-Rasul s.a.w and the Ummah...

"He it is Who sent down peace of reassurance into the hearts of the believers that they might add faith unto their faith. Allah's are the hosts of the heavens and the earth, and Allah is ever Knower, Wise." (Al-Fath 48:4)

Islam in Russia

I just remember something. One of the days we had in Russia, we visited the Kremlin, the centre of Russian administration... where Vladimir Putin has his offices (He has two offices - I think). So, in the Kremlin itself, there are 7 churches, each has its own function. You see, during the Tsar-ruling time, the Tsar would have a church to himself, he doesn't share. So, one church was for him, another for his wife, one for the coronation.... and some more I just can't remember the details... I even got to see a procession in a church which was... em... scary but beautiful. Russia is a centre of Orthodox Christianity. So, during the procession, I saw a couple of ladies wearing full hijab (I can say this... can I?) Huhu, I was proud... but sad thinking that they aren't Muslims....

Nonetheless,what I want to share is that what I saw at the Museum in Kremlin... yes, they have a museum in the compound... (Imagine Kremlin as a gated community, maybe like Istana Negara with lots of buildings.. and those who caught tresspassing, will be sent to Siberia!!)

There were a few armours given to the Tsars, worn by the tsar (and his soldiers) and so forth.. what is interesting is that one of the armours has Arabic inscription on it... I can't remember what it said (or is it I couldn't read it??) but the point is... It's ARABIC!!!

Huhu, I was so proud thinking that the Muslims reached Russia during that time... even though Muslim's aren't the biggest group there, or should I say prctising Muslims... knowing that the effort was done was uplifting...

It gave some sort of 'semangat' for me to be really keen on this path that I chose. I no longer want to be labelled as a 'scratch and win' Muslim, but a true Muslim who chose her own path. Yes, thanks to my mom and dad who did wonderful job shaping me into this...

YEEHAW!!! let's do it people... Let's the spread the words of peace... spread Salam... Spread Islam...!!!

Life in Russia

I never wrote this before... but after a few friends asking how's Russia bla bla bla and I kept on telling the same stroy... why don't I just relate it here...and stop bothering about telling it to the world. Sounds nice??

Yup!

Russia was last month's story.. huhu, took a while to actually absorb what happened there. Stayed there for 10 days, sponsored by the government (Thanx!). The main point is... is happiness and satisfaction is 100%, I think I'll give my 10 days there a 70%. A 'B' for the trip... sounds pretty good ain't it? Well, if you compare to Korea which I gave 150%... does it still sound good??

Nah, I'm not condemning anyone... just a few cents...

But, one lesson I learned in Russia is the treacherous overseas life (oooppsss.. exaggerating!). Few challenges:
1. Language : Please practice on your sign language coz in a country where most people speak only native language, or refuse to speak other language... sign language is a treasure!!

2. Food : Where ever you go, don't forget to bring some local food. Be it the famous serunding Klate, rendang tok perak (not advisable since it's moist...) and lots of instant noodles. Their taste will be different and the status of us being Muslims makes it more meaningful. Huhu, gotta be really careful what you eat. SEAFOOD ONLY!!
oh, there was one time I was really x15 hungry... and they stopped by the hotdog kiosk letting everyone buy something... I can just smell, hoping the smell would at least calm me... The smell was exactly the same as in Malaysia. But I wonder what the ingredients are...

3. Yourself : Well, this is kinda subjective. You see... other people have the tendency to hold people or stand very closely to take photos... wah!!!! I am so scared when I relate this... But the moral is... stand up to your principle and in this case... don't just simply go with the flow... coz trust me, you'll be regretful.. BIG time!

Hmm... I met a few people from other countries and as I get to know them better, I get to know that they are Muslims... they were so surprised as I had my hijab on, and that I'm practicing my religion as my way of life. They say that religion, or Islam, is only like a tradition in their country. Not many people practice it anymore... I felt like crying when I heard this. How can a Muslim utter such words?? It broke my heart knowing that. And my heart shattered thinking again that I didn't work as hard to convince her that practicing Islam is really beautiful.

Huhu... I hope that that will not happen to me, my family, my friends, or Malaysia. I still believe that Islam will be strong here, like it was in the 15th century...

Ya Rabbi, please guide us as You are our Guide, only You we worship, and only You we ask fro help..... amin ya rabbal alamin.

Uhuks... I think I'm going down with a fever...

Posting 1 2 3

Hmm... I thought of posting sumthing... but, suddenly I feel one big chunk of laziness has befallen upon me... so, not today... But I want to say something...

Alhamdulillah... I made my decision after one week of deliberation... which really took a toll on me.. Hai, camne nak jadi doctor who has to make quick and correct decision ni? I've so indeisive in this matter (which not to be discussed here...)

Uhuks... having a sore throat.. perhaps from the thinking?? Huhu, tense can really get me. Once I'm tensed, everything would go haywire...

ok.. it has been erm.. half an hour of writing.. with intervals helping my mom cooking lunch (basically the only thing I do to help around). Lunch is almost ready... yay!!

I hope my decision pays off...

Tawakkal 'alallah... Trust Him, He will provide the best for you.. and me... ;)

Angry Me...

Do you realise that u've changed over the years that you grow up? So, when you do, do you wish you can go back to the old you? If she/he[the person you were back then] was a good person... why not? But what if he/she was not? What if suddenly you realised that you have changed back?

Regret?

Frustration?

or elated?

Mine would be a big regret. For the past year, since an event happened, I think I've switched back to the old me. Always angry, purposely make others angry, and just love the atmosphere when I'm invisible and no one bothers about me coz why? I wouldn't care less. Huh!

But I forgot that it was the sad me. Lonely. No one can come close to me, no one even dared. My EQ again : 0.00. I will never let anyone cross my emotions... never!

Many of my friends wouldn't believe this. "Hey, she is a euphoric person. She needs a tranquilizer, not anti-depressant!"

Well, I wish I'm back to whom I appear to be. I am that person. It's just that for the time being, can everyone just cooperate and let me release my anguish for just another day.

"The strongest among you are not those who strong in wrestling, but the one who controls their anger" - Hadeeth, Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w)

This is among the sayings (would like to qoute the Holy Qur'an but it's not here with me now and I don't dare to make my own translations) that keep my both feet to the ground, and my lips close enough to make other just surprised.

Oh God, please, take this anger away from me. Please help me remain calm and composed. O Allah, please, make my mind and heart at ease. Please forgive me... and help me forgive others... Amin...

Am I as Hard as Granite??

Hmm... first thing I thought about blogging was my FS blog. But I've made a promise to myself not to blog there anymore... it's too public. So, let's start here

I was reading my friend's blog just now. Well, we just received our results last Friday. I did enough to gain entrance to uni, but not my friends.... Huhu.. I felt so sorry for them. I wish I could give my place at one uni to them, since I'll be getting two offers. Aaarrggghhhh!!!

Then I realised. Of all the things happened to me, I never cried for a long long time. I used to be a cry baby actually. Almost all the small things happen I cried. I remembered those nights when I was crying till I slept, and my eyes couldn't be opened due to the 'taik mata' sticking like glue.

Re-check. Have I grown strong[my sis used to call me iron-lady] or it's just my heart has turned into stone?? No, pleae don't let it turn into stone.

Ya Allah, please don't let my heart become a stone. Let it harden for me to face the tests you've planned for me. But please, please let it soften with a teardrop of repentence. O Allah, please. Take care of my heart, as You are the Only Owner of it...

Live Life...

Hmm... another blog. I'm not sure of keeping this up but I'll try.


4 the time being, live life. My life... still a secret...;)