Sunday, December 30, 2007

A Dedication For My Comrades, My Friends, The Lights of My Heart

For all of you...

Inspiring indeed...

Sajak seorang kekasih..

Seandainya kau tangisi kematian ku
Dan kau siram pusaraku dengan air matamu
Maka di atas tulangku yang hancur luluh

Nyalakanlah obor buat umat mulia ini
Dan teruskan perjalanan ke gerbang jaya
Kematian ku adalah suatu perjalanan
Mendapatkan kekasih yang sedang merinduku
Taman-taman di syurga bangga menerimaku
Burang-burung berkicau riang menyambutku
Bahagialah hidupku di alam abadi

Puaka kegelapan pasti akan hancur
Dan alam ini akan disinari fajar lagi
Biarlah ruh ku terbang mendapatkan rinduNYa
Janganlah gentar berkelana di alam abadi
nun di sana fajar sedang memancar
syed qutb

Friday, December 28, 2007

Tolong tunjuk jalan??

Yesterday was another shopping day. Hahaha, two days of shopping, the boxing day (26/12) and yesterday (27/12). Our target (me and my crazy housemate whose name is to be kept confidential due to security reasons) was NEXT CLEARANCE. Kih3....

We went out at 830am... my GOD, were we crazy?? Nah, it was bcoz our friend form Nottingham had to catch her bus at 10.30, and she wants to go shopping as well...[alasan cover line ;D]

[At least we did not go out at 5 in the morning!]

Then, we were done by 12.30 (after much hurrying by me). I ended up buying only a pair of dress, but my housemate spent quite a lot...

While waiting for the Free City Bus (this is when laziness strikes in and we have no energy to walk back home), a lady came up to us...

She was holding a piece of paper which I assumed to be a map. She asked, "You speak English? You read English alright??"

I was thinking :
"Eh, this lady wants us to show her way through Leeds... Hmm, do really know Leeds??"

Then, suddenly, she gave us this paper she was holding.

"This tells you about Heaven bla bla bla... [I remembered she mentioned Bible but I can't remember what exactly that she said. Something to do with Heaven and Bible.

Then, she said, "You're Muslims aren't you? You believe in Heaven don't you? So do we."

[Erks... who's we??]

"I'm a Jehovah's Witness... Please take this..."

I thought again, it was funny that I thought she wanted to ask for directions.

Uhuhu, my first encounter with a Jehovah's Witness. And my first time being 'preached' like-wise... SHOCKING!!! It not offensive (not to my perspective). She was very kind and smiling... I'm yet to read the paper (which turn out to be a brochure) so I can't comment on that yet...

Hmm... I remembered a lesson about characteristics of Allah's servant is to walk on earth with humbleness and when someone mocks them, they reply with peace... Subhanallah... such a noble character Allah teaches us. Can we be that?? No, we MUST be that! How beautiful it is being presented in the Qur'an..

And the servants of ((Allah)) Most Gracious are those who walk on the earth in humility, and when the ignorant address them, they say, "Peace!" (Al-Furqaan 25:63)

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Tukar mood plak

I was a bit emotional just now... This is me when I don't have any idea to write my soon-to-be-dued-essay. Isk isk isk...

Last week was minggu tautan ukhuwah.... Bestnye!!!!

I love Islam. I love the brotherhood. And I love when Rasulullah made Ansar and Muhajirun brothers... Subhanallah.... urwatul wusqa...

Xde nak cite.. buat digital story la nnt ye....


Bila ia diketuk... Tok Tok Tok...

Tok Tok Tok... Assalamualaikum!!!!! [harus dibaca dgn gaya kemelayuan kita...]

Familiar? Hihi, who doesn't? Or at least I do that. But I knock only twice, then I barge in. Hehehe, sorry my friends...

But that's not the point.

My last post was December 2nd, a few days before my exams. I misses my parents terribly, with tense from studying and stuff, and my timetable made me kept on missing their calls or that everytime they wanted to call, my eyes would be half-closed as it would be almost midnight...sigh~~

Nonetheless, that has passed. Dah cakap with my super duper uber cute parents (ntah nape, though they are my parents, rase derang ni cute sgt....COMEL NYE MY PARENTS!!!)

Now it's a new me.

For the past month (inclusive the days/weeks prior to 2nd Dec 07), I felt I was knocked numerous times. Someone knocked on my door. The door to my heart.

Firstly when I went to this programme. This ustaz was telling : Know why am I here talking stuff to you guys? To let you guys DIE!

What??? This ustaz has gotta be real. He wants us to die?? Gulp!!!

MATI SYAHID - Cita tertinggi kami

That was among the lines of our Gagasan Nuqaba' back in KMB. Dah lupe ke Munirah? I asked myself. When 'mati syahid' as mentioned again, I felt I was gunned down. How can I forget my aim? [Time ni muka Asy-Syahid Hassan al-Banna flashing in my head] Astaghfirullah. How can I forget what I've lived for? How I can forget what my real dream is? Where did Munirah who wanted syahid go? Da'ei yg syahid di jalan Allah... mane pi da'ei tu? Is she sleeping? Or has she deviated. Nauzubillah.

Second, when my sweet friend gave a tazkirah on a pencil. A pencil has to experience painful sharpening, for it to do its job better. A Muslim has to endeavour thorns, for her to achieve more. Dakwah tu susah... panjang... bersabarlah... Another knock. Why have I been crying so much just because exams, or someone merajuk, or orang buat x peduli?? Whereas for missing my Qiyams, my tadarrus, my sadaqah I have yet to shed tears? Where is the Munirah si kakak semangat yang x kisah susah?? Susah sikit nangis... orang buat x layan sikit nangis... kisah lagi kat orang lain?? Nape x kuat lagi ni?? Allah kisah, x nangis pulak?? Astaghfirullah...

Thirdly... during gathering. Another word mentioned that I've never take heed for a long time.


Just a name of a friend??


proud2bemuslim_girl - used to be my identity. How I was proud of it. Carrying the title a Muslim girl. Subhanallah. How wonderful those times were... Little Khalifah of Allah. But when the email was hacked, I lost it. But did I lose who I am as well? Even when I want to pray at the park I felt conscious. Should I be? Should I be praying while hiding behind the bushes so that others would not see? Where is the Izzah? Astagfirullah... how can I forget my dear friend Izzatul Islam?? How can I prevent my dear 'intan payung' from meeting my heart?

How many things have I forgotten??

But Subhanallah... a prove that Allah swt still takes care of me. Alhamdulillah, He does not desert me when I need Him. He knocked my door, 4 hard times. Each time, the knocks spelled words.

1. Mati syahid
2. Pain
3. Izzah
4. Determination

How did I forget my determination to walk on this path I chose? How did I forget my determination to embrace the pain, walk with izzah towards martyrdom?

Astaghfirullah...I have forgotten a lot of of things...

Alhamdulillah... I have friends who remind me when I forget, though sometimes they never realize...

Thank you my friends...

Thank you Allah...

O Allah, please don't ever let me go astray. Don't let me deviate away from your path. Don't let me pass the honour to become your da'ei to someone else. Help me in carrying out my duties ya Allah... Guide me... guide me... guide me... Ameen...

Sunday, December 2, 2007


Suddenly I miss them. Tremendously.

Ya Allah, please give me strength. Just a little bit more. Let me grow strong. Help me grow strong.