LiFe iS YouRs To makE iT HapPeN

Apabila aku jatuh cinta...

2009-09-01T15:13:00.002+08:00

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim..

Insya-Allah, entri kali ni dlm bahasa Melayu. Sebab?

Sebab dalam bahasa Melayu saya pandai jiwang sikit. Dan puitis sikit.

Dan kali ini, saya nak mengumumkan, saya telah jatuh cinta. Ahaks!

Semuanya bermula pada Disember 2007. Pertama kali melangkah ke Nottingham. X igt pergi ngan sape. Yg igt, esok paginya, naik train ke Loughborough. X lame. Sekejap je.

Sampainya di Loughborough, di situlah bermulanya kisahku. Kisah ku jatuh cinta.

Ku jatuh cinta pada keramahannya. Ku jatuh cinta pada kekuatannya. Ku jatuh cinta pada semangatnya.

Ku doakan agar cinta ini sentiasa mekar di hatiku, malah semakin mekar dan mengembang, agar ku dapat salurkan cinta ini pada generasi seterusnya. Insya-Allah.

Bagaimana ku boleh jatuh cinta>

Jawapannya di sini:

Mungkin nanti, awak pun akan jatuh cinta ^_^

A Safety Pin

2009-08-04T11:14:00.003+08:00

Weird?

I'm talking about a safety pin?

Huhu...

My summer is (although I believe it's best for me) a nightmare. I couldn't join my little sisters who had fun during the first gathering as I have my brother's wedding the weekend after I got back. I couldn't join the massive gathering they had in a land far away called Kelantan as my other brother's wedding is coming up. Sigh~~ I bet they have collected so many precious pearls, and I guess most of it, they can't share it with me coz I'll need my own pearls to move on.

So, in the search for my own pearls, I turned to the sea of knowledge and love, just an hour from my home. I went to see my dear sisters, big and small, for a day. Little that I expect, that it would such a nice gathering, whilst everyone was in Kelantan having fun.

Simple but nice, got to meet my soon-to-be little sister, and her cousin as well, or and far away cousins as well.

And it was time to pray, I stood and started. My tudung was the slippery one. But I thought since it is quite labuh I wouldn't have any problem preventing it from slipping down as I sujud onto the floor...nope. dead wrong. it slipped. my khusyu' was gone. until suddenly, someone came to me from behind, and pinned my tudung to my baju, altogether preventing it from slipping.

Who??

I don't know. One thing I know is that, she loves me so dearly that she does not want my prayers to just go in the dustbin. I couldn't find her as I don't know who she is.

Owh, Subhanallah. How she has touched my heart with just a safety pin.

Ya Allah, I pray for my sister. Let the kindness that she has done become her key to you Paradise... ameen...

Azam tahun baru

2009-06-02T23:59:00.002+08:00

Bismillahirrahmaniirahim....

My new year will start on 18th of June, 2009.

And I think I want to have a new aims for the year.

Which - I can't tell you coz if I do, and I don't do it, then I'll be lying and consequently cursed throughout my life. [scary huh??]

Anyways, it's 21 hours til our Lower Limb spot test exam. Can't wait to get through it, but I'm so freaking out that I can't look at my notes anymore...

haish~~

Allahumma Rabbi yassir wa la tuassir, ya Rahman, Ya Rahim, Ya Zal Jalali wal Ikram...

ya Allah, permudahkanlah uruan daei kecilMu di Leeds ini....

Blog-hopping

2009-05-31T17:46:00.004+08:00

In one of my previous entries, I came out with a list of signs and symptoms of examingitis. Of which, I'm having one - blog-hopping.

And when I hop, I get tagged.... here goes..

1. Copy award di atas untuk diletakkan di blog anda.

2. Nyatakan 5 fakta menarik tentang pemberi award ini:
- Met her during Secondary school... or more like tuition classes for me. A 3-month getting-to-know...friends with her til today
- She's married, and I'm not [erks~~]
- Lovely bubbly person
- Will bang you in the head if you cross with her
- Has a ver very very big heart...[which fitted me in just nicely :P]

3. Setiap blogger mesti menyatakan 10 fakta/ hobi diri sendiri sebelum memilih penerima award seterusnya:
- I've just turned 21!!! [but this time, I'm not really sad about growing up...]
-

4. Anda perlu memilih 10 penerima award seterusnya dan describe tentang mereka:
I can only choose one coz I've left blogging for quite some time. But when I think of blogging, I'll think of her.

Iman-chan - who keeps up a wonderful blog

tp nak tambah kakak kak kauthar jugak sbb birthday die arini

nak kak ain jugak coz she wrote a sweet entry recently

to wan mai coz when I read her blog, I'll always terponder... [though mcm x penah tinggal je my ponder tu...]

then to my lil sis, yg xde blog but she found mine by google-ing for it [sabo je la adikku sorang ni..]

to my big sis who left blogging some time ago... but I bet she has another since she has some flare in writing

to kak aisyah Z... who reads a lot, and writes a lot..[bile la nak jadi mcm die ni??]

and nak kasi award to kekja gak... although mebe blog die dh x terupdate, the sweetness of her words mesti buat diri rase mcm nak tutup muka n masuk duvet

can't find no 9.

and no 10 - back to my dear friend syaz - who tagged me a month ago, but didn't realize it...and she tagged me again for this one...

hehe

gomenneh!!

[back to study mode]

Another Mujahid Born...

2009-05-31T17:17:00.005+08:00

Subnallah

walhamdulillah

wallahu Akbar!

Time: 0336 Hrs

Location: St. James's Hospital

Target: Aiman Wafiy bin Ahmad Farid

Status: Born

Whoa!! Aiman Wafiy is born!!!

small print: eid milah to auntie kauthar jugak..[ps aiman, nnt besar jgn perangai cam auntie kauthar tau!! sian mummy nnt...]

small print: aiman wafiy is kak hajar's son.

For my Dad

2009-05-31T03:57:00.008+08:00

Hmm...

suddenly I felt like dedicating this entry to my dad.

This is his 49th year. It's not his birthday yet...it's months away.

But I remembered, last year. I touched down in KLIA. Was waiting for my oversized, over weight bad to get to the conveyor belt that I saw one person. I knew him by heart.

:)

It was a man I call Ayah.

Ayah dr kecik lg munirah panggil ayah...

time kecik2, kalau tgh tgk tv, mesti nak duduk ngan ayah. Kalo ayah bersila, kene make sure munirah boleh lipat badan munirah supaya muat dalam sila ayah.

bile dh besar sikit, ayah kate munirah berat, so boleh letak kepala je atas kaki ayah.. badan pn dh panjang... nak lipat pon dh x muat nak letak dlm sila ayah..

bile balik keje, mesti tunggu ayah depan pintu... dulu kecik2 ayah naik bus g kerja. ktorng dok Klang, ayah keje kat KL. Everytime ayah balik, akan jerit..."yay yay ayah balik.." pastu amek tiket bus kat tangan ayah..buat jadi duit tipu2... huhu

dulu x tahu pun nilai duit. ayah kene travel lame nak g keje kat KL. naik bus plak tu. x igt plak van pegi mane... maybe ayah tinggal supaya ibu boleh gune anta Salim ngan Aman g Solat Jumaat. lame2, duit tipu jadi satu bungkus. mcm ala2 monopoli gitu..ehehe

dulu selalu tdo depan tv. pastu xnak bangun masuk tdo sampai ayah kejut. Lepas ayah kejut pon xnak bangun jugak, sbb nak suro ayah dukung sampai katil... manja kan anak ayah ni?? [ayah x penah tau..munirah pon x penah bgtau...]

bile dh besar sket...ktorng pindah KL. Ayah pon makin sibuk. Tp ok je... sbb bile ayah balik, mesti ktorng makan same2 dlm satu dulang. Kadang2 ayah masak dinner. Suka sgt bile ayah masak. Tp ayah masak ikan bilis masak kicap je. Sedap sgt. Ibu pon kene blaja masak ikan bilis masak kicap dr ayah. Hehehe... kat Kl, pagi2 n ptg2 mesti ikut ibu g anta n amek ayah. Ade 1 van je dulu. Kalo ayah bwk g keje, nnt ibu xleh nak gerak anta ktorng g skolah. Seb baik dh dok KL, office ayah pon 15 minutes je from home. so, ok.

Bile besar2, ayah xde umah weekdays...sebab Ayah keje kat Indon. So jumpe ayah weekend je. Hari Ahad ayah g jogging, pastu ktorng same2 g makan breakfast kat kedai mamak [ayah je g jogging, anak2 die naik kete g kedai..hohoho]

Haritu time kat hospital, tetibe dengar ringtone seseorang...SEJIBIK mcm ayah punye. Xde org ade ringtone tu sbb ayah buat die punye sendiri [ayah spent a few days edit lagu yg die suke..dan dah bertahun ayah gune ringtone yang same je..]

Balik je hospital terus call rumah. Ayah ade kat umah. Munirah bgtau pasal ringtone ayah. Munirah btau jugak, munirah rindu ayah. Tp ibu n ayah buat x tahu [ibu ngan ayah malu2 kucing plak ngan anak die yang makin romantik ni...^_^]

Sekarang dh bulan June, lg sebulan 3 hari lg, Munirah akan touch down di KLIA. X sabar sgt2 nak balik...

Nak jumpe Ayah, Ibu, Salim, Aman, Adik and Ifah...nak jumpe jugak bakal kakak2 ipar ku... hehe

[I promise I'll be kind...:P]

Ya Allah, u've given me the best parents in the world, the best family in the world, the best life that I can think of. So Ya Allah, bless them...care for them as they have cared for me since I was born, until today...never let them astray, place them among ur servants who are faithful. O Allah, please take care of them...

Uhibbu abi wa ummi.... wa usrati..

My 21st Birthday

2009-05-31T02:32:00.002+08:00

As of 20th May 2009, I'm officially 21.

^_^

Legal age?

Eligible to vote??

Can drive a Uni car??

Hoho...such a weird feeling being at 21 year old. It's like growing up all of the sudden. I like being the small cute one. But now, I can't really do that can I?

The little mo0n has to grow up.

to a??

Big mo0n??

huhu...

not physically though... coz I am now vertically challenged and limited. So, can't do anything about that.

can't grow sideways either as if I do, I'm in big trouble.

So, growing up??

hm... I guess I have to start to think big now. Have to start thinking of others, and try to live my life, not just for myself, but for others around me as well...

I'm posting this entry 10 days after my birthday, which was a blast as we had a massive combined all-those-born-in-May-party ^_^

tq my sisters for that...

and I got lovely presents as well...

tq my sisters for that...

and I gots tonnes of hugs and kisses and wishes and posts and entries...

again,

tq my sisters for that...

see how much I depend on my sisters?

But three of them are leaving me (and my friends) soon. It's time for them to proceed to another stage of their lives, which I'm most happy about...and most sad as well.

I can never replace them in my life...

to my sisters, you know who you are...

luv u guys loads!!

^_^

Examingitis

2009-03-19T16:21:00.002+08:00

Hehe...

got this word from my happily-not-so-recently-married friend. She was having her exam last months hence the 'infection'. Mine is in 98 minutes at the time I wrote this. Hahaha... quite a nice activity actually to do just beofre an exam - blog-hopping. Since I haven't been updating my blog that regularly, blog-hopping is one activity that I do to use up all the time that I haven't got. [Ooops!]

Owh, then for the last 10 minutes, I was voluntarily abducted by someone else's blog and did more blog-hopping...hahaha

Then the phone rang. [Telefon...telefon berbunyi!!!]

Ok. So signs and symptoms of examingitis
1. Blog-hopping
2. Phobia of lecture notes
3. Nausea (without vomiting)
4. Grumbling sounds in stomach (probably due to skipping breakfast but can also occur with breakfast)
5. Anxious about time
6. Always think of what to wear
7. Think of things to do after the infection

Medication
1. Solat
2. Solat
3. Solat
4. Go to the exam hall and get it over with.

ps: if symptoms persists, please consult a psychiatrist.

Things to do..

2009-03-16T16:24:00.002+08:00

Bismillahirrahman, ar-rahim...

Ya Allah, ya Kareem, Ya Zal Jalal wal-Ikram...

Allahumma Rabbi yassir wa la tuassir ya rahman, ya rahim..

I have a few things to do currently...I think I have the time to do it all, but lack of the semangat to do them...

Ya Allah
Tuhan yang di tanganMu hatiku
DitanganMu masa depanku

Hanya Engkau sahaja yg dpt menenangkanku
yg dpt memberkatiku
yg dpt menolakku terus ke hadapan

Maka ya Allah,
tenangkanlah hatiku
berkatilah masaku
jadikanlah amalanku bermanfaat

tunjukilah ya Allah
tunjukilah jalan menujuMu

Tak ingin aku kembali kpd zaman jahiliyyahku
ya Allah,
hindarilah aku dr masa silamku
jgnlah biar ia kembali
biarkanlah ia menjadi pengajaran utkku
biarkan ia menjadi pedomanku
agar aku terus mara ke hadapan
agar aku boleh menemui ya Allah
agar aku boleh bersama Rasulullah dan para sahabat baginda
agar aku tidak terlepas 'train' itu...

Wallahua'lam

Coolness in policemen...

2009-02-10T04:58:00.002+08:00

Do you ever watched movies or series which involved high speed chasing, involving unmarked police car, policemen not in uniform, chasing around with lights (hmm..what do they call it??) on top of their car roof? Do you think it's cool?

Think if you can see it live. When you're on street. Somewhat part of the scene.... even cooler??

Hoho..just had that.

Was driving...(my last driving lesson...I hope!) then suddenly, I saw this car coming on in the opposite direction, flashing lights to make people make way for them. A silver car without any police markings... but due to the lights, we knew it was a police car. Then... a few seconds later, we brushed (not literally of course) with a police car, this time marked. Hmm... I wonder what that was about?

Hmm... police not in uniform?

Perhaps...homicide? Armed police like SWAT team or something? I don't know.

But living in UK for the past 1 year and a half... I feel very much safe when I see a policeman, or policewoman. There was this one night, I was walking with my friend towards my other friend's house, and I saw a few men talking in the dark. I was so scared and I was already reading a few ayah from the Qur'an... then a policeman came out. He was making rounds. And he actually said hi to those men... just checking out that they weren't doing anything suspicious... maybe he had notice how scared I was... Lol.

Thinking again... a policeman watches over everything that he can see. They were trained so that they can recall the number plates of a car that passed them by... they were trained to be very vigilant whilst on duty... and I bet they do that as well even though they aren't on duty.

There's one policeman that I love. He is ever vigilant. He sees everything. Even when I'm under my comfy duvet, trying to sleep when Fajar almost came...and I haven't done my tahajjud. He can see not only what we can't see, but He knows what lies in the future. He knows everything in the past. He is ever Watchful. He is Al-Baseer... subhanallah...

He watches over not only because He cares, but also so that we know, that we are being judged by the Just. He looks so that we are conscious about every action we take. So that we make sure that everything that we do, is in line with what He likes. So that we leave the things He dislikes...

But, do we realize all this? Do we realize that we have Allah who oversees us? Who knows everything, even what's in our hearts?

Huhu...sometimes I fail at this..I fail to realize when I'm doing something bad without other people knowing it, there is someone who knows... I failed to realize that even when other people don't know what are the good things I've done, there is someone who does.

See? Allah watches over not only to punish us. He is Loving and Kind... the most Loving, and the Kindest... and He watches over to see how good of a Muslim have we become...so that He can bless us with His rahmah..and invite us into His heavens...

Subhanallah... subhanallah...subhanallah...Allahu Akbar

Ward day and...tremor??

2009-02-08T14:28:00.003+08:00

We have hospital day on Fridays starting this semester. The cool thing is, I'm psoted at Bradford Royal Infirmary - a hospital, therefore, there's a lot of patients. Sadly, we get to see only one or 2 patients per day (it's usually only for 1.5 hours) - 9am til 10.30. It has been 3 weeks a.k.a 3 Fridays. Had to take cardiac history for the first two. And, last Friday, we manage to do cardiac examination. And I was the first to do it! I can't remember what I was supposed to do. (Haa.. another point, please don't expect to have teaching in the morning. You should have revised it the night before, after attending last week's lecture)

Luckily, I remembered that we start the examination by taking the patients hands.. look and feel - is it nice and warm? Any bruises, tenderness, redness, scars etc? Then look at fingers - splinter haemorrhages, tar stain, Osler's nodes, and another thing that I can't remember right now. Look at the joints for signs or arthritis... soem spot (maybe due to old age). Then do the pulse checking - pressure, rate, regular/irregular, radio-radial delay, collapsing pulse(only cardiologists do this, according to my consultant who is an anaesthetist).

Then we moved to face. Again, look and see. Any redness around the cheeks (it's suppose to be a sign of something, but can't remember what..) Eyes - anaemia, xanthal -something2-, white ring around sclera (owh..I gorgot this one as well), jaundice, (you can check your cranial nerves while you're at it as well!) Then the tongue - central cyanosis, thrush, ulcers, salivation (dehydration).. what else??

Owh, another thing, then you move on to checking the JVP - not suppose to see it on normal person. And my first patient was normal ;)

Huhu...and, as you noticed, it's a hell lot of stuffs! And this is just the beginning. My friend continued with the chest area - oberservation, palpation and auscultation. [We'll need to do all this in 6 minutes by next year..]

Whoa!! Cool! Now I feel like a doctor - putting stethoscope on.. hihi.. and the patient was happy to see us with our 'toys' - colourful.. hihi..

We heard a swooshing sound up in his aorta. According to my consultant, it's either aortic stenosis or aortic sclerosis. It's common for old people to have aortic sclerosis... but if it's stenosis, there may be some problem to anaesthetize him later (he's due for an operation in 6-8 weeks!). Did him a favour didn't we? [and we thought we were stupid not able to hear the LUB DUB sound..(or is it Rabb Rabb sound?)]

Hmm...happy.

Understood my ECG after 3 cardiologists explained it to me.

Manage to do cardiac examination though if it was an OSCE, I would have failed.

And critical appraisal.

Now - need to solat subuh as this gadget called RubyMerah has taken my fingers away from me for the past hour.

Solat, ma'thurat...BREAKFAST :D

New Drive

2009-02-08T14:15:00.003+08:00

Ok,

I know it has been months since my last post. Sorry for that. But these few weeks has been really hectic... I wasn't in the mood of being a medical student, what else updating my small little virtual world. Well, maybe it wasn't hectic..just the fact that I wasn't in the mood. Huhu..

Then, just after ambil wudhu' for Subuh..which I got so tensed as when I came out from the toilet, DH AZAN!!!! :(( X sempat nak buat qiyam.. dh la semalam pon camni jugak.. haish~~ [tu la, sape suro dh bangun time alarm tdo balik lepas tu??]

ok ok, my fault.

So, sambil2 tunggu azan abes, these fingers were fast to click on people's blog... I was blog-hopping, visiting a few friends and seniors, who each wrote beautiful pearls of their lives. Then i realize, I haven't contributed much to other people. Hihi...my bad.. again.

So, I've come out with a new resolution (after getting back my medic student mood after crossing the finsihing line of Critical Appraisal) - to just blog.

Well, the reason I stopped one time ago as my FS account has been growing...and it has been too public. Don't wanna have that. And, this I don't promote my blog to anyone...I guess I can blog whatever I want on this blog..

Another reason is that, I can find points to ponder upon where ever I go (almost wehere ever I go) now... so why wait until I can relate to a verse in the Qur'an or a hadith?? It would be excellent if I can do that.. but for that, let's just write and ponder k together k?

Hihi...

wait for my future posts!

I wish I can...

2008-11-25T00:57:00.003+08:00

Study mode...

2008-11-20T03:59:00.002+08:00

Annoucement: Study mode in progress. Hence, all work involving sweeping my e-house will be halted.

N.B - Picture stolen from a friend's blog... sorry ye... ^_^

-End-

Tp nak blogging gaks!! But I need to study..

til then..

"O Allah, only to You we worship, and only to You, we ask for help... Help us O Lord, O Most Merciful..." Ameen

I've been tagged!

2008-11-15T16:58:00.003+08:00

Though I don't understand the whole purpose of these things... but I guess it's a fun thing to do... hmm trying to be sweet to my sweet 2 sisters... :D

MY TOP 5 MOST FAVOURITE FOOD
Roti Canai Mamak

Rendang my mom

Serunding my mom

Karipap besar atuk ngan sambal die... (atuk.. mane aci atuk masak time Munirah xde kat umah!!! Uwaaa)

Ikan bilis kicap ayah (tp ayah dh lame gile x buat since ibu dh blaja camne nak masak from ayah.. :()

5 THINGS I LOVE DOING
Study (man... I'm a nerd!) - not necessarily academic kan??

Cook and bake

Staring at the sky

Smile

Jump

5 THINGS I LOVE DOING WHEN I’M EMO
Cry

Read the Qur'an and end up crying again

Go and take a walk/jod and end up crying again

Talk to my mom and cry again

Tell people to shut up - oh, I wish I can do this... but that would be mean to the people around me..

5 THINGS I LOVE DOING WHEN I’M HAPPY
Jump

Cult dancing (don't ask!)

Read people's blogs

Smile and BIG GRIN :D

Sing

5 WAYS TO WIN MY HEART
Hug me, call me, do little things for me, smile at me and... be yourself ;)

10 5 THINGS I WISH TO HAPPEN
Learn a lot of things

Turn into a good Daei - the best one I can be

Me marrying someone I love (erks~~)

My friends' weddings

Live life under the shade of the Qur'an - Subhanallah.... :)

5 RIDICULOUS THINGS I WISH I CAN DO BEFORE I DIE
Various ideas are running in my head... but it would be fatal if they get out...

MY TOP 10 5 MOST ADDICTED SONG
Ku berlari (Firdaus n Akbar n Cat Farish)

When you believe (Mariah Carey n sape ye lg sorang?)

Standing in the Eyes of the World

Wajah (Jaclyn Victor)

Croation Rhapsody (Maksim)

oh, dh 5.... though semenanye xde la sgt... but some songs just push you further... ain't it?

5 PERSON I WISH TO TAG
Erm... owh...can't think of any right now... I guess the newly-weds (2 people), my housemates (3 people...) my friends.. (eh, dh terinfinity plak... hehe)

Owh... and I have to do someone else's tag...

haish~~

Penat la... plus ade homework anatomy x siap lg..

"Allahumma Rabbi yassir wa la tu'assir..." Ameen

Walking Down Memory Lane

2008-11-13T18:37:00.002+08:00

I had the same title back in my old blog on Friendster... but since my Fs network has expanded, I think it would be a pain for other people, who do not know me well, but kept on receiving emails (or spams!) saying that I've updated my blog. And, since I've changed direction of my rattlings, I presume it would be most proper to transfer my energy here.

Then, today, a person went to my old blog, and left a comment. I think I know who that person is, and I really appreciate her comment. It has been like... 2 years?? since my last entry on that blog... emm no. 1 year I think. coz when I was reading back my blog.. and walk down memory lane, I notices it was during my 3 months pension from studying... well, maybe just 2 month coz 1 month I spent on IChO in Russia.

Hmm... looking back, I actually miss me mumbling and rattling about the little-est thing in life. coz I keep the big ones to myself... and usually, the big ones are the sad ones... oops! Negative thinking.

No, I think my big-sad-moments aren't to be shareed with people. But my super-duper-uber-happy-euphoric moments are for anyone to know. Lol.

Ok,

it's 10.47am on this computer at cluster comel in Worsley. And I have to get back to studying... which was the thing I was suppose to do... not blogging..

Erkss...

but a verse to ponder upon:
"So, verily, with every difficulty, there is relief. Verily, with every difficulty there is relief. Therefore, when thou art free (from thine immediate task), still labour hard. And to thy Lord turn (all) thy attention." (Al-Insyirah 94:5-8)

I just love this surah... doesn't everyone?

A Song For Mama

2008-11-12T17:28:00.002+08:00

A Song For Mama lyrics - Boyz II Men lyrics

A Song For Mama Video - Boyz II Men Music Videos

Music Videos by VideoCure

New Enlightenment

2008-11-11T15:59:00.002+08:00

It's a new day. Alhamdulillah. I'm given the chance to live for another.

Yet, I woke up LATE!!! And continued sleeping underneath my comfy 13.5 tog duvet. Aargh!! How I'm regretting it. Astaghfirullah.

Astaghfirullah

Astaghfirullah...

What a sweet memory...or just a mind play?

2008-11-09T18:57:00.003+08:00

Today is November 9th.

Last updated: October 11th. Ok la Cik jiran sebelah... less than a month :D

I wanted to share this memory I have actually. I had it about 2 weeks ago (I think) when I was lying in bed.

I was asleep. Soundly. At night. I dreamt about shopping with my mom and my lil sis (two most wonderful girls I have in my life... can't live without them 2... including my big sis of course). In that dream, I was so happy... thinking that I haven't spoken to my mom for quite some time. And I can actually feel it in my 'real life' heart. Seriously. Coz it was so vivid.

Then, I had a dream of another friend. A friend whom I haven't spoken to since 6 months ago. A friend that usually I'm not close to, never close to. But I cherish her presence... Well, in that dream, we were actually talking... a very x1000 friendly talk (I can't remember about what) but basically, we both were laughing, and the feeling was as if we have known each other for years... without any conflicts between us. I was elated in that dream. I was happy. She was happy. She was laughing and smiling... I was even happier.

But.

It was merely a dream.

That did not happen in real life.

It was a mind play.

Will it ever? I don't know. I pray for it.

Only Allah knows...

"O Allah, if it's for the best, let it happen with ease..." Ameen.

Andai ku tahu...

2008-10-11T17:29:00.002+08:00

This a video I found on youtube. Emm... the song was a hit back in summer (or was it last year? Nvm..) So, I was taking a break from Cranial nerves (Obor-Obor Omar tak tertinggal atas file, actually Gary viewed some houses... Hahaha.. my own mnemonics :D ), and decided to listen to this song, while watching its video clip.

There was the band, and a few kids, trying to do graffiti and vandalising the roads and walls. Then, when the Graffiti was done, I realised something. They didn't vandalise the roads or walls, they just express their dreams. One boy drew a bed on the road and actually slept on it. One boy drew a bicycle on the wall. One of the sweetest thing (and most sad) was a boy who drew out a family of 3, and the 4th was him, trying to hold the imaginary hand of (I think) the father.

Awww... sweet nye these kids...

Suddenly I remembered one Surah from the Holy Qur'an:

1. By the Glorious Morning Light,

2. And by the Night when it is still,-

3. Thy Guardian-Lord hath not forsaken thee, nor is He displeased.

4. And verily the Hereafter will be better for thee than the present.

5. And soon will thy Guardian-Lord give thee (that wherewith) thou shalt be well-pleased.

6. Did He not find thee an orphan and give thee shelter (and care)?

7. And He found thee wandering, and He gave thee guidance.

8. And He found thee in need, and made thee independent.

9. Therefore, treat not the orphan with harshness,

10. Nor repulse the petitioner (unheard);

11. But the bounty of the Lord - rehearse and proclaim!

How sweet Allah is isn't it?? Subhanallah...

Ya Latiff, soften our hearts with the remembrance of you...

^_^

Leaving...on a jet plane...

2008-09-15T17:47:00.002+08:00

Feel as if it was yesterday that I wrote (I think I did) an entry about leaving this wonderful place..

Sad. Yes.

Happy. Erm...

Excited. Erm...

Worried. Definitely.

Overwhelmed. A must.

When I flew off to Heathrow last year on Sept 12th, I've set an intention. My journey to the UK was not only to study Medicine. But to trace the steps of my parents. My beloved Ayah n Ibu. Ibu used to tell (though not much) about how much she learned whilst studying (and after getting married!). Learned not only the pure science which after researches and discoveries, brings us closer to Allah but the social science as well. Wondering how Ayah can do well in his studies (and helped another fellow scoring an A for his project) meanwhile going here an there every week, just to gain he thought was the best investment for the future.

I want to feel what they felt. I want to know what they knew. I want to do what they did. Little that I know, with all that, I must carry a responsibility. A responsibility that I thought it was easy. One that I thought I could do it. So naive was I.

-to be continued...-

When the responsibility came, I was scared. I was flabergasted. Truth is, I wanted a way out. But there's only two way out. One, death. Second, death as well. But the first one, dying

Updating the Updates

2008-09-11T22:40:00.003+08:00

Bismillahirrahmannirrahiim.

Alhamdulillah... at last my fingers are actually clicking fast on the keyboards to write an entry.. Hohoho.. sorry friends... I was so busy that I only gathered the ideas to write but never had the chance to actually write them.

Phew~~

Can you actually believe that it's almost 4 months since my last entry?? I had a glinch to delete this blog but I jsut can't bear losing one platform for me to share with people. Subhanallah.. this summer holiday had been tremendously great... From coming back to Malaysia all by myself, to Cambodia, to Brunei, to Kelantan and Terengganu, day trips back to Johor and Perak (when my atuk almost cried when I said I;m going back to KL in a few hours...) not forgetting night trips to Gambang to visit my Kaklong and cutey boy Ahmad, and the best of all, meeting my sisters and all the hearts I've met...

[taking a few deep breaths~~]

Let's see..

oops... my dad's calling everyone to go to sleep.. haha

ok, what I'll do is that I'll retrace my summer journeys... and post them one by one.. :D

Seorang Budak Gemok

2008-05-23T14:24:00.007+08:00

Allow me to publish this post in Malay...

Ade seorang budak gemok, kulitnya licin, gebu dan manis (dan kaler kulitnya macam kulit kayu manis... Hahaha)

[Haish~~ xleh nak continue tulis... Let the pictures speak for themselves...]

**Budak gemok kate: Nak aaapppeee??? -In a very annoyed way**

**Budak gemok tgk Ummi dia...pastu die kate: Ummi, Ahmad...comel x??**

**Budak gemok macam takut je...GGgggrrrr**

**Budak gemok memikirkan masa depan...Ummi, nak jadi PM boleh??**

**La... tunggu turn main ngan GrandPa rupenye.. chehs**

Inilah dia sketsa kehidupan budak gemok yang dimanjakan sampai jadi gemok. Budak gemok yang bernama Ahmad Ibrahim Shahmi, umo 7 bulan, 6 hari

Waaa....!!!! Nak balik!!!

......................

2008-05-18T16:15:00.003+08:00

I just love this song. Such a nice, inspiring piece that never fails to make me shed tears...

It reminds me of how fortunate I am. How fortunate we all are...which gives us no room to care less for others

I miss my PDK trip. Among the best things that happened in KMB ^_^

Remembering Our Brothers and Sisters...

2008-05-09T13:20:00.003+08:00

Today is the 60th Year of the Nakba a.k.a catastrophe. Well, that's for us Muslims and for those who love peace and harmony, not forgetting the I-am-a-human-with heart. Coz for those who are heartless, they'll go and say..."Hey!!! It's the independence day today!!! It's Israel's 60th birthday!!!"

Erm... who is Israel??

Does it exist??

Not in my dictionary NO!! Definitely not.

Alright, it has a capital city, it has it's own economy, people living there is called Israelis, and it has boundaries. I mean literally. Literally and physically, all around.

Someone on my Facebook gave me this video
[ooops.. it's kinda lost... But I'll try and find it again]

Well, basically, imagine it being a video like have showing about the Palestinians... they have it for them..

And they go and spread it to the world!! I bet this person know I'm a Muslim as I'm wearing the hijab. And they go and spread their video to everyone. I bet now (since even my friends in Malaysia are using FB... though I have no slightest idea why...) people around the world has seen the video. But how many people have seen the lives of the Palestinians??

During ROQ last 2 weeks, a guy from ... (Amnesty I think??) shared with us his experiences whilst there. He showed us a few houses that is annexed by the apartheid wall... And these are houses and shops. What about schools and villages?? Farms??

Imagine this. You have a new garden in your front and backyard...you can have a picnic, BBQ, and even sunbathing (since the weather's so nice!). You were enjoying ur life until one day, a truck came with concrete slabs, and divide your garden into 2 parts, the smaller one's for you. The bigger portion, they say that they need to expand the road. We need the space M'am. It's for everyone's uses.

Everyone my foot! (Alhamdulillah swearing is not my cup of tea!)

Palestinians can't walk on certain roads.

Palestinians can't drive on certain roads.

Palestinians have to climb wall to see their families and friends who WERE only 5 metres away!

People must be crazy thinking how the Jews have suffered back in the past.

So, in order to have 'pity' on these minorities of the world's population, you go and inflict pain and agony on someone else?

Since they don't have a land to stay, you go and take other people's land. How 'humane' is that?

You call people throwing stones as terrorists. But tell me, the tank against a few pebbles of stones... who's the terrorist?

Huh.. I don't think I can write anymore coz I feel like my chest is blowing up!! So I'm gonna share with you the doa of a Sheikh for Masjdil Haram (I know many have seen this).

All the Palestinians ask from us is to bring Islam back. Only then shall Palestinians be free. Let them fight the tanks with their hands and stones. Let's do our part. Let's bring Islam back.

With Islam Umar al-Khattab freed Palestine from the Romans... and again with Islam, Salahuddin al-Ayyubi freed Palestine from the Crusades... and with Islam, we shall free Palestine!!

O Allah, only from you we ask for strength...

note to self: Must equip self with Arabic to understand the doa Qunut of the Imam in Leeds Grand Mosque during Ramadhan. I wonder why everyone cries when the Imam recite the dua... :-?

I wish...

2008-05-04T16:39:00.002+08:00

I wish I can say it
How you have stabbed me
How you've crushed me
How you've made my tears flow

But it will make things worse
It will eat myself
And it will eat you
And that is much more painful
Too painful that I can't bare

I wish I can tell you
How much you mean to me
How precious you are

I wish I can tell you
That all I asked was for you to look at me in the eye
And share what's inside your heart

But it's all just few wishes
For you

When I looked at the mirror
I see myself
How I wish I can tell others how I feel
How heavy this is
Burdening inside my heart

I wish I can lament
I wish I can escape
I wish I can fly free
I wish I can smile
Not just cry
Again, these are just wishes

I know that you will listen
But it's me who cannot tell
I know you will care
But it's me who is to arrogant

But don't worry
Coz I have found a place to share my feelings
I can share it with someone who would listen
And who would reply a.s.a.p with beautiful words
Words that I myself can't describe

But with Him in my heart
I know I don't have to tell
Not to anyone, Not to anything

O Allah, only to you I can ask for my wishes. Let this heart be yours, and only yours... Grant me peace since you are the Most Peaceful. Grant me strength since you are the Strongest. Grant me power since you are the most Powerful. Grant me sincerity since you are the Most Sincere...

Remember, it was once Ours, and one day, It will again be...

2008-04-15T01:13:00.006+08:00

Shifting paradigm...

2008-04-11T16:06:00.002+08:00

Hmm... bile tetibe hati ni rase down, ade je bende yang naikkan semangat balik...^_^ (indahnya hidup bersama Ilahi. He plans my life ways I cannot imagine. I believe, He know best.. and He'll give me the best)

Videos to share..
Part 1

Part 2

enjoy...

[ps: kali ni curik verses from the clip ye...huhu..]

Jaulah Turkey

2008-04-03T20:31:00.002+08:00

Another journey... now to the centre of the globe. I've been to the East, I'm now in West, I've been to the North, and my heart is in the South. So, what's left?? The Centre.

Though some may differ, I think I can say it (just to make it fit into my 'ayat-ayat puitis' above ^_^)

Ok.

When I went to Turkey, I really agree with the saying 'jauh perjalanan, luas pemandangan' (or something like that. The few seatings with my sisters here in Leeds touched on accepting Allah's plan as He is the Best Planner. He gives the best for us no matter how we hate it or no matter how we see it as the worst thing that can happen. Alhamdulillah, I praised all my sisters who did not complain a single bit. Instead, we were all really positive and never lose hope. Subhanallah, how wonderful the feeling was.

People who supported us from far, thank you so much. Though you guys may pity or emphatize us, I salute my jaulah-mates more... SUKE SGT!!!

And I also learn that friendship does not fade... I met my friend whom I never seen since I was in Form 3. And she still recognizes me.. ohohoho.. the sad part is I can't spend much time with her... isk isk isk...

Hmm... subhanallah... How great Allah is. His plan is much better than ours. I think if we go there for 4 days, our money will be gone before we knew it.. Ahahaha..

Feel like I'm missing a point... but nonetheless, if only I can show my heart and let others have a look, surely it will be much better...

^_^

Too Many Things, Too Little Time

2008-04-03T20:28:00.002+08:00

Frankly, I have loads on my mind that I really want to share. But this time, I think I really wanna be serious, coz I've learnt valuable things that I just can't let people take it easy. So, I have to be serious. Hence, I think I'll draft my post so that this go chronologically...

make sense??

me being serious??

why not??

Futur...

2008-03-13T15:11:00.002+08:00

Futur...(no, I didn't misspell future)

This is what I'm afraid off. The holiday's coming. No more studies. No more going here and there, bz buzzing around.

So much time???

I am scared of being relaxed. What am I doing when I'm relaxing? Am I wasting time? Or am I doing what is necessary? What IS necessary??

Isk isk isk... jgnlah aku futur...

Jgnlah aku futur...

When the Enzymes Saturate...

2008-03-13T14:54:00.002+08:00

So, when the enzyme saturate, Vmax is reached, all of the active site are fully occupied. That leaves me : Simply saturated!!

It's Thursday, my most awaited day. Know y?? Bcoz it's the last day of the term!!!! I just can't believe that I've survived two terms here in Leeds Uni... yg ala-ala KMB gitu.. nonetheless, I survived the two-year treacherous torture in KMB successfully (alhamdulillah!), why can't I do the same here?? Plus, having had 2 years experience, 5 years would b nothing, innit?

Erks~~

But, before I can enjoy my Spring Days (which include spring cleaning of my 'den') [eh, den is solely for pigs ah?? hope not!) I have formative exams coming. And it's integrated! And I have exactly 3 hours before my battle. Aiyah, but this one is just like fighting with a plastic sword.

There's a risk, but you won't get killed.

A reason for me not studying??

Hummpphh...

I felt so guilty. I don't wanna study for the sake of the exams. I want to study coz I want to, I need to. However, when I flipped (just flipping.. not exactly reading) through my notes (BMS from last term), I don't have a clue what it says... So I flipped through a few, then moved to I&P, read the first sentence, on my bed, and suddenly (and intentionally) dozed off.

LoL

Guilty as I can be, I'm praying hard Allah doesn't take His rahmah away. He gave me peace during and after my Transport Summative...Please Allah, don't take it away. I need it all the time...

So, Transport done. But I should not forget that there's more in the future.

Right after the exams, my sweet uti gave me a piece of the Qur'an (not literally)

"Verily, with every difficulty there is relief. Therefore, when thou art free (from thine immediate task), still labour hard, And to thy Lord turn (all) thy attention." (Ad-Dhuha 94: 6-8)

O Allah, I know you have plans for me...I know it's the best for me. Please don't let me go.. Don't let me go away...

Sekolah Angkatku...

2008-03-05T05:30:00.002+08:00

This is a younger sibling of my school. Sekolah Rendah Islam Al-Amin Kuala Terengganu. It is a home (I mean home!) to young aspiring students. Currently, we are collecting money and equipments to fund the school's project to improve amenities and also to build a permanent school complex. We have the land, now we need the pegs, piles and walls.

Hence, I'm calling everyone to come forward and support this school... It reminds me of the school I went to, the school that shaped me into who I am today... my sweetest memories were there.

How many of you still thinks about you old school?? Primary school may not be significant but truthfully, that's where you learn most and had the joyous moments in life (I remembered spanking my classmates for being so naughty!! Hahaha)

Anyhow, donations can be made online... (UK residents)
Name : Miss S N A Ibrahim
Account no : 61631691
Sort code : 402729
Reference : Sekolah Angkat AlAmin

And for Malaysia...
Untuk keterangan lanjut, sila hubungi:

Abdul Aziz bin Abdullah (Pengerusi ALP – Tel: 013-9837079)
Ahmad Sabri bin Mohd. Yazid (Timb. Pengerusi ALP – Tel: 019-9880424)
Rosidi bin Ali (Setiausaha ALP – Tel: 012-9588916)
Munawar bin Mohamad (Guru Besar SRIAAKT – Tel: 013-9273557)
SRIAAKT (Pejabat – Tel/Faks: 09-6662061)

And in case anyone has any questions, please feel free to email sekolahangkatalamin@yahoo.com

Further details, click here.

Indeed, Allah will reward those who sacrifice their lives and wealth in the path of Jihad, with the Everlasting Heaven and all the bounty in it... Subhanallah...

[sorry, lupe plak ayat mane satu..]

Diary Earthquake...

2008-03-05T05:16:00.002+08:00

This was suppose to be my premier post for MSM North West blog. However, since it was written at 2am in the morning, it didn't get posted since everyone else was asleep or at least, the person I tried to contact was offline. So, here it is... (a bit outdated.. I know.. but that's the point. The point is to ponder upon each and every event that happens in our lives...-tetibe rase mcm PPD exercise plaks...)

Tepat pukul 12.56, gegarannya dirasakan amat kuat. Adakah ia kerana angin yang sudah beberapa hari menyatakan hasrat ingin menjadikan kami ’superman’? Namun, angin tidak bersuara malam ini.

Rumahku bagai didodoi ke depan, ke belakang, membuatkan aku yang sedang lena terjaga. Terkejut. Angin? Tiada bunyi? Pelik.

Gegaran dirasakan selama 7 saat. Aku sudah membayangkan yang terburuk. Bolehkah ia terjadi di negara maju ini? Bolehkah ia terjadi di sebuah negara makmur dan tenang?

Setelah seketika, benarlah apa yang ku sangka. Gegaran yang benar berskala 4.7 di skala Richter.

Click here for details.

Astaghfirullah... mungkin ianya satu peringatan dari Yang Maha Esa. Hanya dengan sedikit gegaran, jantungku bagai nak berehat. Apetah lagi apabila digegarkan oleh Al-Zilzal? Apetah lagi apabila Bumi mendatangkan khabarnya? Nauzubillah...sungguh tak ingin aku berda di situ.

Dengan nama Allah Yang Maha Pengasih, lagi Maha Penyayang.

Apabila bumi digoncangkan dengan goncangan yang dahsyat
dan bumi telah mengeluarkan beban-beban (yang dikandungnya) yang berat
dan, manusia bertanya, ”Apa yang terjadi dengan bumi ini?”
Pada hari itu bumi menyampaikan beritanya,
kerana sesungguhnya Tuhanmu telah memerintahkan(yang demikian itu) kepadanya
Pada hari itu manusia keluar dari kuburnya dalam keadaan berkelompok-kelompok, untuk diperlihatkan kepada meraka (balasan) semua perbuatannya
Maka barang siapa mengerjakan kebaikan sebesar zarah, nescaya dia akan melihat (balasan)nya
dan barang siapa mengerjakan kejahatan sebesar zarah, nescaya dia akan melihat (balasan)nya

Al-Zalzalah (99: 1-8)

Marilah sama-sama kita beristighfar... renungkan kejadian alam yang sesungguhnya, merupakan peringatan bagi mereka yang peduli...

Wassalam

Sharing..

2008-02-13T20:26:00.003+08:00

I really want to share something...but not right now. Emotionally unstable. Gotta sort that out first...

O Allah, ease this life for me...

Signing off before this place gets flooded...

I have to stop being mad

2008-02-03T06:43:00.001+08:00

Oh God...

2008-02-03T06:40:00.000+08:00

I took time off study... (waa.. satu amalan : TICK!!!) to read a few blogs...

How wonderful people can share their thoughts and feelings with other kn? Hihihi, a blessing Allah gave to them so that they won't feel lonely...

Me??

Don't ask if you don't wanna be shun away...

(Doakan my friend who is really in pain...I hope she gets well...I hope she gets my virus of optimism instead of this influenza stuck in my nose!!)

Updating...

2008-02-03T06:03:00.000+08:00

Bismillahirrahmaannirrahiim...

In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

I was reading my previous post, and the comments as well... Reminiscing the days when I felt so down. But somehow, someone must knew what happened. Who??

He is the Most Supreme, the Carer, the Guide.

He is the Most Romantic Lover of All... uuuu... how I wish I can repay the amount of things He gave me. Not only He gave me love, He gave me letters as well. He told me to read them as much as possible though sometimes I am too lazy... He asked me to seek Him at least 5 times a day. These are the moments when I feel closest to Him. My undivided attention, and His...

Subhanallah... how great this lover is. I know He has a lot of lovers... Some of them love Him more than I do. But I am never jealous as He is always there when I need Him... Sometimes, I feel guilty coz sometimes I'm not loyal to Him. Sometimes I come late to our dates. Sometimes, I even miss celebrations in the morning where He had prepared a few hours for me to be alone with Him.

Nonetheless, He never dumped me. I prayed He never will. I longed for Him. Like a warrior craving for matrydom, that is how this little girl wishes to meet her lover...

But come to think about it, am I prepared to meet Him?

Astaghfirullah... I've done so many mistakes... Can He still forgive me? Will He look at me with mercy when we meet?

O Allah... please help this little girl find her way... her way towards that particular position beside You, the place that You've reserved for your most beloved servants..Let me be one of them.

O Allah, please make my heart at ease as I know, only those hearts at ease may be with you.. Please Allah, invite me to your garden... Let me be part of those you love, and they love you..

"(To the righteous soul will be said:) "O (thou) soul, in (complete) rest and satisfaction! Come back thou to thy Lord,- well pleased (thyself), and well-pleasing unto Him! 'Enter thou, then, among My devotees! Yea, enter thou My Heaven!'" (Al-Fajr 89: 27-30)

Results??!!

2008-01-11T21:35:00.000+08:00

Hmm... got my first Summative Result today. BMS-1 exams which we took the week before holiday started. Let's just say it is as expected, alhamdulillah. Well, I didn't do well in the MCQ questions... huhuhu... thanx to last minute study.

Congrats to those who got better than expected.

Firstly I was thinking of feeling down. Then, suddenly, balik2 je, someone gave me an offline message. Munirah the Mighty. I am mighty?? Huhu, such a sweet person, walau jauh di mata...

hihi...wanna take a look what that person gave me??? Click here

Well, I was reading the Qur'an just one and stumbled upon another ayat-ayat cinta:

"But if they turn away, Say: "(Allah) sufficeth me: there is no god but He: On Him is my trust,- He the Lord of the Throne (of Glory) Supreme!" (At-Taubah 9:129)

Allah is enough for me. Allah is enough.

Ai Otsuka - Planetarium

2008-01-04T17:49:00.001+08:00

Patut ke??

2008-01-01T04:59:00.000+08:00

I'm just wondering. Allah s.w.t gave us hearts to feel. He gave us heart to love, to cherish, and most important of all, to be His servant...

But our hearts : Can we control it? Can we tell it not to be 'terasa' when someone does something you're not quite agree with? Can we tell it to be very happy, when someone hurts it? Can we...??

Or should I ask... should we??

Yes, everyone makes mistakes. But when you have tried your best to change, tried your best to be strong, tried your best to make your heart 'immune' to these 'arrows' that will crush it, SHOULD you terasa hati??

Patut ke kt rase jealous kalo kawan kt lebih menyenangi kawan yg die baru kenal??
Patut ke kt terase hati bile kawan baru kenal tu asyik ngan kawan kt je.. tp ngan kt x?
Patut ke kt terase hati kalo kawan kt cakap bnyk ngan kawan baru die, tp ngan kt die buat cold treatment? 10 patah kt tanye 1 patah pon x jawab?
Patut ke kt terasa hati pd mulanya???

Salah ke untuk terase hati? Salah ke utk kecil hati? Salah ke pendam dalam diri, tapi in the end sakit hati? Salah ke kt x bagitau kawan kt kt terase hati? Salah ke kt wish die tahu sendiri iwithout telling her the real deal??

Patut ke kt x bagitau?

Astaghfirullah.... salah ke utk kt kecik hati??

Ya Allah,lembutkan lah hati ku ya Allah, lembutkan hatiku ya Allah... sesungguhnya, Engkaulah pemilik hati ini ya Allah, lembutkan ia...... Ameen

A Dedication For My Comrades, My Friends, The Lights of My Heart

2007-12-30T23:44:00.001+08:00

For all of you...

Inspiring indeed...

2007-12-30T23:23:00.000+08:00

Sajak seorang kekasih..

Seandainya kau tangisi kematian ku

Dan kau siram pusaraku dengan air matamu

Maka di atas tulangku yang hancur luluh

Nyalakanlah obor buat umat mulia ini

Dan teruskan perjalanan ke gerbang jaya

Kematian ku adalah suatu perjalanan

Mendapatkan kekasih yang sedang merinduku

Taman-taman di syurga bangga menerimaku

Burang-burung berkicau riang menyambutku

Bahagialah hidupku di alam abadi

Puaka kegelapan pasti akan hancur

Dan alam ini akan disinari fajar lagi

Biarlah ruh ku terbang mendapatkan rinduNYa

Janganlah gentar berkelana di alam abadi

nun di sana fajar sedang memancar

syed qutb

Tolong tunjuk jalan??

2007-12-28T18:19:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was another shopping day. Hahaha, two days of shopping, the boxing day (26/12) and yesterday (27/12). Our target (me and my crazy housemate whose name is to be kept confidential due to security reasons) was NEXT CLEARANCE. Kih3....

We went out at 830am... my GOD, were we crazy?? Nah, it was bcoz our friend form Nottingham had to catch her bus at 10.30, and she wants to go shopping as well...[alasan cover line ;D]

[At least we did not go out at 5 in the morning!]

Then, we were done by 12.30 (after much hurrying by me). I ended up buying only a pair of dress, but my housemate spent quite a lot...

While waiting for the Free City Bus (this is when laziness strikes in and we have no energy to walk back home), a lady came up to us...

She was holding a piece of paper which I assumed to be a map. She asked, "You speak English? You read English alright??"

I was thinking :
"Eh, this lady wants us to show her way through Leeds... Hmm, do really know Leeds??"

Then, suddenly, she gave us this paper she was holding.

"This tells you about Heaven bla bla bla... [I remembered she mentioned Bible but I can't remember what exactly that she said. Something to do with Heaven and Bible.

Then, she said, "You're Muslims aren't you? You believe in Heaven don't you? So do we."

[Erks... who's we??]

"I'm a Jehovah's Witness... Please take this..."

I thought again, it was funny that I thought she wanted to ask for directions.

Uhuhu, my first encounter with a Jehovah's Witness. And my first time being 'preached' like-wise... SHOCKING!!! It not offensive (not to my perspective). She was very kind and smiling... I'm yet to read the paper (which turn out to be a brochure) so I can't comment on that yet...

Hmm... I remembered a lesson about characteristics of Allah's servant is to walk on earth with humbleness and when someone mocks them, they reply with peace... Subhanallah... such a noble character Allah teaches us. Can we be that?? No, we MUST be that! How beautiful it is being presented in the Qur'an..

And the servants of ((Allah)) Most Gracious are those who walk on the earth in humility, and when the ignorant address them, they say, "Peace!" (Al-Furqaan 25:63)

Tukar mood plak

2007-12-26T02:08:00.000+08:00

I was a bit emotional just now... This is me when I don't have any idea to write my soon-to-be-dued-essay. Isk isk isk...

Last week was minggu tautan ukhuwah.... Bestnye!!!!

I love Islam. I love the brotherhood. And I love when Rasulullah made Ansar and Muhajirun brothers... Subhanallah.... urwatul wusqa...

Xde nak cite.. buat digital story la nnt ye....

TUNGGUUUUUUU......

Bila ia diketuk... Tok Tok Tok...

2007-12-26T01:26:00.000+08:00

Tok Tok Tok... Assalamualaikum!!!!! [harus dibaca dgn gaya kemelayuan kita...]

Familiar? Hihi, who doesn't? Or at least I do that. But I knock only twice, then I barge in. Hehehe, sorry my friends...

But that's not the point.

My last post was December 2nd, a few days before my exams. I misses my parents terribly, with tense from studying and stuff, and my timetable made me kept on missing their calls or that everytime they wanted to call, my eyes would be half-closed as it would be almost midnight...sigh~~

Nonetheless, that has passed. Dah cakap with my super duper uber cute parents (ntah nape, though they are my parents, rase derang ni cute sgt....COMEL NYE MY PARENTS!!!)

Now it's a new me.

For the past month (inclusive the days/weeks prior to 2nd Dec 07), I felt I was knocked numerous times. Someone knocked on my door. The door to my heart.

Firstly when I went to this programme. This ustaz was telling : Know why am I here talking stuff to you guys? To let you guys DIE!

What??? This ustaz has gotta be real. He wants us to die?? Gulp!!!

MATI SYAHID - Cita tertinggi kami

That was among the lines of our Gagasan Nuqaba' back in KMB. Dah lupe ke Munirah? I asked myself. When 'mati syahid' as mentioned again, I felt I was gunned down. How can I forget my aim? [Time ni muka Asy-Syahid Hassan al-Banna flashing in my head] Astaghfirullah. How can I forget what I've lived for? How I can forget what my real dream is? Where did Munirah who wanted syahid go? Da'ei yg syahid di jalan Allah... mane pi da'ei tu? Is she sleeping? Or has she deviated. Nauzubillah.

Second, when my sweet friend gave a tazkirah on a pencil. A pencil has to experience painful sharpening, for it to do its job better. A Muslim has to endeavour thorns, for her to achieve more. Dakwah tu susah... panjang... bersabarlah... Another knock. Why have I been crying so much just because exams, or someone merajuk, or orang buat x peduli?? Whereas for missing my Qiyams, my tadarrus, my sadaqah I have yet to shed tears? Where is the Munirah si kakak semangat yang x kisah susah?? Susah sikit nangis... orang buat x layan sikit nangis... kisah lagi kat orang lain?? Nape x kuat lagi ni?? Allah kisah, x nangis pulak?? Astaghfirullah...

Thirdly... during gathering. Another word mentioned that I've never take heed for a long time.

IZZAH.

Just a name of a friend??

NEVER!!!

proud2bemuslim_girl - used to be my identity. How I was proud of it. Carrying the title a Muslim girl. Subhanallah. How wonderful those times were... Little Khalifah of Allah. But when the email was hacked, I lost it. But did I lose who I am as well? Even when I want to pray at the park I felt conscious. Should I be? Should I be praying while hiding behind the bushes so that others would not see? Where is the Izzah? Astagfirullah... how can I forget my dear friend Izzatul Islam?? How can I prevent my dear 'intan payung' from meeting my heart?

How many things have I forgotten??

But Subhanallah... a prove that Allah swt still takes care of me. Alhamdulillah, He does not desert me when I need Him. He knocked my door, 4 hard times. Each time, the knocks spelled words.

1. Mati syahid
2. Pain
3. Izzah
4. Determination

How did I forget my determination to walk on this path I chose? How did I forget my determination to embrace the pain, walk with izzah towards martyrdom?

Astaghfirullah...I have forgotten a lot of of things...

Alhamdulillah... I have friends who remind me when I forget, though sometimes they never realize...

Thank you my friends...

Thank you Allah...

O Allah, please don't ever let me go astray. Don't let me deviate away from your path. Don't let me pass the honour to become your da'ei to someone else. Help me in carrying out my duties ya Allah... Guide me... guide me... guide me... Ameen...

:(

2007-12-02T04:14:00.000+08:00

Suddenly I miss them. Tremendously.

Ya Allah, please give me strength. Just a little bit more. Let me grow strong. Help me grow strong.

One Down, Lots More to Go!!

2007-11-29T00:04:00.000+08:00

Alhamdulilah, HIV presentation is DONE!! And the leaflet as well!!

And I get the same comment : You did it confidently. Ahaks, only God knows how I was trEmbliNg inside! Nonetheless, alhamdulillah, syukur sangat dh lepas. Even though it's an formative thingy i.e. not getting into our final marks, this is my first presentation. Well, second if you want to include my first PPD session. Huhuhu, I was so nervous. My groupmates didn't even twitch! Hmm...

Asyik nervous je nih.. susah la hidup!! But, nervousness is good. It makes me feel I'm not a superwoman that I always need support and help from others, and especially from HIM, God the Almighty. But, it's killing me. Killing me softly...

Well, at least it's done, and got a couple of good reviews. Phew==--

Reminds me of a girl I talked to. I gave her a 'love letter' sent by someone to me:

"Allah tasketh not a soul beyond its scope. For it (is only) that which it hath earned, and against it (only) that which it hath deserved. Our Lord! Condemn us not if we forget, or miss the mark! Our Lord! Lay not on us such a burden as thou didst lay on those before us! Our Lord! Impose not on us that which we have not the strength to bear! Pardon us, absolve us and have mercy on us, Thou, our Protector, and give us victory over the disbelieving folk" (Al-Baqarah 2:286)

Addition to the Family

2007-11-19T00:39:00.000+08:00

Note to Everyone : I am officially a Mak Cik, to a baby boy whose name is yet to be thought of.

Hahaha....Alhamdulillah.. my 'Kak Long' gave birth to the first 3rd Gen of Kasim's family. He weighed 3.3kg... kinda heavy don't you think??

[Teringat time my lil sis baru lahir...really really miss her...]

17th of November 2007, 1430 hours...

Wa!!! I wanna go back home!!! [Sabar... Sabar... 7months to go]

The news came when my dad texted me at about 5am UK time. -Dah nak bersalin. Dah kat hospital.- I was like..."What??!!" Then logic set into place, Subhanallah...kak long!!!

He is super duper cute...

Hohoho...by the time I'm home he would be crawling like mad I think.

One very good news to strengthen my will to go on. Another three weeks to exam. Another 3 weeks to winter holidays... C'mon Leeds, bring it on!!!

O Allah... I'm tensing out. Please, help me...Guide me and make my stronger, make my heart stronger...

Great things happen...

2007-11-06T04:15:00.000+08:00

Whoa!! Had a very good weekend...

Went for paintball in Nottingham... or somewhere there. Stayed at seniors' house, met my classmate (supposedly classmates) but one could not make it..:(

Back in Leeds, big massive headache and body ache. Ouch!

And just now, my first bonfire and fireworks. YAY! Lasted for only 45 minutes. Bonfire starts at 7, fireworks 7.30pm, by 745, everything's done. Huhu. Really nice!

The bonfire was really big. And it was HOT!!! Subhanallah... it's only 3-5 storeys high, and the fire is still orange in colour. And orange is the coldest of all!

The fire of Allah's Jahannam takes 1000 years to become orange, another 1000 to become white, and another 1000 to become black. This black fire will burn anything. Nauzubillahi min zalik...

O Allah, please, protect us from the hellfire...

"The (faithful) slaves of the Beneficent are they who walk upon the earth modestly, and when the foolish ones address them answer: Peace. And who spend the night before their Lord, prostrate and standing. And who say: Our Lord! Avert from us the doom of hell; lo! the doom thereof is anguish. Lo! it is wretched as abode and station" (Al-Furqan 25 : 63-66)

Exam...

2007-11-01T16:06:00.001+08:00

Today is my practical exam.

Exam...

2007-11-01T16:06:00.000+08:00

Today is my practical exam.

+ve.......and loving it!

2007-10-31T11:14:00.000+08:00

A friend said to me, I am a +ve person.

Frankly, it is a compliment to me. I get it a lot. But everytime a person say this to me, it makes me wonder...am I really?

I wasn't when I first came to college. It was down right negative. If there's a scale, I would be in the position where it is infinitely negative. I was so low that I thought of quitting the whole thing. But Alhamdulillah, He gave me strength to move on, a place to cry and seek help, and a love letter that will keep me company the whole time.

And due to that, I am +ve right now. I am +ve that I will survive med-school. I've survived college. It's just an extension of another 5 years.

So what makes me a +ve person? I guess my belief in Allah has made me this. He will take care of everything. There's nothing to worry about. Just do your best!

Hmm... reminds me of a campaign wehad back in school. "I am a +ve Muslim" campaign. Everyone was given this badge with the saying on it. We wear it every single day, becomes our school badge since we didn't have any. but the fact is, it kept reminding myself to think positive. It's only think positive of yourself or the consequences of your actions, but also of other people, their thoughts and actions. Sounds familiar?

It does as that is was Islam teaches. Think +ve.

"That ye grieve not for the sake of that which hath escaped you, nor yet exult because of that which hath been given. Allah loveth not all prideful boasters" (Al-Hadid 57:22)

Ayam Masak Paprik

2007-10-25T03:20:00.000+08:00

Alhamdulillah... at last my hunger for nasi and ayam paprik is satiated. (pardon me for the sentence structure. I think satiated is wrong here, but just couldn't find another word!)

Huhu, never made paprik before. Even my mom doesn't make it. So, the only place I eat paprik is when I'm at the college, back in matrix, or sumwhere out with my friends or some warung visit with my dad...

It's not that hard. You can just chuck almost anything in. Here's how I did it, though the 'wangi'-ness of daun limau purut is not there...

Half of baby chicken - enough for four people for a meal
Cauliflower
Cabbage
1 Carrot
Quarter of an onion (some people put two whole ones!)
2 cloves<-- is this the right word? of garlic
3 slices of ginger
5 desert spoon oyster sauce
2 desert spoon tomato sauce
1 desert spoon dark soy sauce
1 tea spoon custard powder
2 cups pf water (I think!)

and... what makes all the serai and tomatoes unnecessary .... 1 tomyam cube.

Hehehe, and don't forget salt.

Yum yum... Thank you Allah for the nikmah of food...

"For the protection of the Qureaish. Their protection during their trading caravans in the winter and the summer. So let them serve the Lord of this House. Who feeds them against hunger and gives them security against fear." (Al-Quraysh 106 : 1-4)

Years gone...

2007-10-18T01:49:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was 4th Syawal 1428. 20 years ago, I was born. Huhu... can't believe I'm already 20 years old... And in 3 years, I can build a daulah Islamiyah ... Rasullullah (s.a.w) took only 23 years to change a zero to a hero. He unleashed Umar al-Khattab, Khalid Al-Walid, Abbas, Ali and many more. His best friend, Abu Bakr was always with him. Subhanallah... how wonderful the blessing of ukhuwah in Islam.. Can you find it somewhere else??

My housemate made a surprise for me. They baked a cake for my birthday!! Well, I helped as well but I didn't know they were baking it for me. Since yesterday was not my cooking day, I stayed out of the kitchen. We had iftar together... it was our first day of puasa 6 this year. Best gils pose ngan housemate!

Then, I thought of having moreh at night... not really at night, about 830 or so.. but since iftar is at 615, so, ok la...

So I went into the kitchen... knowing that I will have some cake. But, when I saw the cake... I went... "Haa!! Ape ni??"

Terharu sesangat derang buatkan kek besday... Huhu... or maybe derang saje je nak suro kite jadi 20tahun... huhu...next year ye...

So, since we have another birthday coming up this January, my housemate has already said that she wants a cake.. and I kinda know what kind of cake I want to make for her...Hmmm...

Well, this is the ukhuwah we've develped after a month living together... I just cannot wait for the outcome after one year living together... Subhanallah...

"O Allah, we thank you for the bounty You've given us. Please, don't let us go astray with the pleasure of the world... Let us be close to You in the Akhirah. Help us, gude us, as You are the best Guide, the Only Guide..." Ameen...

Moving into Transitions

2007-10-09T13:35:00.000+08:00

I've moved!!!

There had been numerous transitions in my life and I think, I had the most number of transitions, back to back, this past month. Seriously, can it get better/worse?

First it was moving out of the house, jump on the plane, and flew 10 000km across Asia and Europe. Then the weather transition which I've not experienced any shock, thanx to Kementerian Pelajaran Malaysia and MARA who sent me to Korea and Russia in the summer 06 and 07. Huhu

From a school girl to a University student, or particularly a med-stud a.k.a Student Doctor.. hehe

Then finally, from Carr Mills, to Lyddon Terrace.. Carr Mills was 30minutes walk from campus. But I enjoyed walking. I loved walking. I enjoyed the scenery, the part where we had to make suicidal road crossing plus the neighbours. huhu.

Now, I'm living about 5minutes brisk walking from school, have one couple living downstairs and practically no roads to cross. isk isk isk, I can still feel the thrill of going back to Carr Mills... I LOVED IT!!! But now, all that is left for love is memories.

Nah... gotta forget all these nitty gritty stuffs. But one thing for sure. My heater in Carr Mills wasn't working, so I complained and they gave me a portable heater that works wonders. And now, Lyddon has a centralised heating BUT, the whole system isn't working!!

I am COLD!!! I'm wearing 4 layers of clothes. My turtle neck which is supposed to work like a blanket as it is made of acrylic, my t shirt, my cardigan, and a sweatshirt (credit to my housemate whose jacket I made it like mine!!)and I'm still cold. Even my extremely hot laptop (back in Malaysia) is cooled...now that is cool! But the heater part, ain't cool at all... Plus, it's cold these few days and I bet it's gonna get colder tomorrow...

OK. I have to get someone to come here. Desperatly need it.

Then I remembered, Allah's Hellfire is VERY VERY HOT. None of us would want to got there... Then I read an article, saying that if someone goes through Ramadhan without achieving anything, that person is the poorest of all. He lost the chance of Night of Power, the chance of getting your ibadah 70x more, plus a full care and treatment for body and soul. All he gets is tiredness and hunger.

There's only 3 days left... what have I done??

"The Great Disaster! What the Great Disaster is? the Day when men shall be like scattered moths and the mountains like carded wool of different colours. Then he whose scales are heavy, shall be in a state of bliss, and he whose scales are light, shall have the deep pit for his dwelling. And what do you know what it is? A raging Fire!"
(Al-Qari'ah 101 : 1-11)

Hanyalah untuk Allah.. Ibadah itu Cinta, berkasih denganNya

2007-10-05T13:11:00.000+08:00

PMS

2007-09-22T01:10:00.000+08:00

No no, this is not Pre-Menstrual Syndrome... It's actually Perhimpunan Musim Sejuk, organised by MSM (Majlis Syura Muslimun)

Webpage

Hmm, how wonderful. A lot of prgorammes to go, a lot of places to visit. First this one, then to Dublin for PUISI... huhu, sounds nice doesn't it?

Oh yeah, did I tell you how much it cost? Nah, cost doesn't really matter. It only matters when you don't have the money. Like right now. I'm supposed to go to York tomorrow. But guess what? I've only got GBP27.51 in my wallet, and the trip costs about 20pounds!! Isk isk... how am I suppose to go to York??? It's gonna be nice if I can.

But, wealth comes from Allah. If He wants, He will give it to us. Thinking again, if this is one way that I'll be closer to Him by seeing the greatness of His creation, wealth is something I can give away...

So, York anyone??

"Spend your wealth for the cause of Allah, and make not your hands contribute to your destruction; and do good. Lo! Allah loves those who are beneficent" Al-Baqarah 2:195

Upin dan Ipin

2007-09-20T17:55:00.000+08:00

I was browsing through youtube for the upcoming PUISI 2007 just now. Then I saw this link to a cartoon, Malaysian made called Upin dan Ipin. It's about two brothers, I believe they are twins, going through Ramadhan for the first time... huhu, I still remember my first Ramadhan...

I was seven when I started fasting. Everyday, my mom would ask me if I want to fast the next day. And as enthusiastic as I am, I said YES! So, days begin. My mom said I cannot eat nor drink.. Isk isk, laparnye... and very x10 thirsty. So, everytime I take my wudhu', I took a sip (em... more like a gulp I think) of the water.. TAP WATER!! Huhu, darurat la... Then I said to myself, "Tu bukan minum, terminum la... amek wudhu basah..." Hehe, I was so in denial...

Then there was once, my mom was cooking iftar, using kerisik. I love kerisik. Sangat sangat suke. So, my first trip to the kitchen, I saw it. Then I took a pinch. I left. 5 minutes later, I came in again. Huhu. Then, I was so scared that my mom would find out, I took the packet out, went outside, hid behind my car and ate. I can't remember whether I ate the whole packet. But the thing is, my mom realised that her kerisik is missing (there was another packet.. how can she??) Then she asked me.. "Munirah, ade amek kerisik x??" Then I replied.. "Mane ade, kan puase, mane bleh makan.." Huhu, I was such a big fat lair. Seriously! But, clearlyI was the guilty one. Isk isk, kantoi!! My mom put in me in a trial. I still remember sitting on the floor, with my mom, my big sis and bro on the sofa. Wah!! I was so scared. My mom was so angry. She wasn't angry about me not fasting, but about me lying to her... huhu... bongok nye anak ibu ni mase tu..

So, later that night, my mom asked again, "Nak pose x?" And I said, "X nak la.." hehe, bukan nak insaf, x pose terus.. huhu.

Watching the video... reminded me of how "tough" Ramadhan is. Now I'm older and more matured, Ramadhan is no longer about abstinence from food and drinks, but from things that la lagha, sinful, and such. A tazkirah given by Kak Ain Kpm yesterday (they had iftar at our home, me cooking...ngeh3) touched on that Ramadhan is the month to cleanse our system, from viruses, trojans and bugs of all sorts. Coz for the last 11 months, nafsu n syaitan have been planting those in our system..

So,use this month fully to defrag, reformat and install very x10 strong anti virus, anti trojans and pesticides(eh, xde kaitan.)

YOSH!! 23 days more!! Quick!!

Link to Upin and Ipin : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FbM0DzHpVrI

Leeds...

2007-09-15T13:20:00.000+08:00

Alhamdulillah... This is my third day in Leeds and Subhanallah, such a wonderful place, with lots of people.. and lots of Muslims... It was such a nice feeling going to the Green Room (like a surau on campus) as the feeling of ukhuwwah.. Wah!! best nye!!

B4 that, we met a new friend from Trinidad n Tobago.. My, she had 3 big bags with her, an two small ones... I'm wondering if we had not been there to help her, who's going to?? Huhu, luckily she booked the Meet and Greet service... an she was fine.. Hope to see her again on campus. She's doing broadcasting.

Then our seniors picked us up... Mahal gile derang charge... 25pounds per person... Guess how much it costs in total?? But, thanx to them, we weren't lost...TAPI!! Amek advantage ke atas budak baru blaja yang tgh kaya raya... cis!

Then, yesterday... went shopping like hell. Beli bantal, pinggan mangkuk and stuffs. It totaled up to more than 50 pounds! Imagine spending more than rm300 within one day, on yourself! Mahalnye dok sengsorang...ini pon food juz for one day..

Well, my housemates and I are going shopping again today... and we have to buy some more stuffs... One day punye food pon dah cost about 7pounds... Sekali beli abes rm50... abes duit ku...

Luckily my dad gave me extra cash... an I have my Russian roubles.. Fuh!

Well, that's it for today. Hope things goes well.. Hope I can cope with things around here... Insya-allah..So I believe what Allah s.w.t says,

"Allah does not burden any human being with a responsibility heavier than he can bear." (Al-Baqarah 2:286)

Still In The Making (without holes)

2007-09-11T09:53:00.000+08:00

Huhu, if I postpone my post to another day.. it would be exactly a month since my last post... But, I don't want to do that, or to have that. Hehe, I have tonnes of things to tell, fromthe 3D convention in CUCMS, the daurah I had last two weeks which talked about dakwah and futur (ouch!) and the things that went on this hectic month. To top it all, my flight is yet to be confirmed, and I am suppose to be flying off tomorrow.. I repeat, TOMORROW!

Ok, the reason that pushed me to really write this time was a call from my friend last night.. or should I say really really early in the morning? Who on earth calls another person at 12midnight? Cheaper rate eh?? No no, I am not mad, just shocked, and flattered ;)

Thanx to the friend who called... So sorry that my flight is postponed... Bebudak tu dah plan nak g esok dah..Seb baik kt baik n x tipu derang... keh3..

Huhu, I really want to write about what I got from the 3D convention, a really nice sharing moments with doctors, aspiring ones and real ones.. and also the daurah... But I have to wait first coz really need to settle my shopping spree.. hehe

Hmm... just finished reading "Fikah Luar Negara" Now I want to start with Asas-Asas Islam.. Hav been ying to get a hold of this book and NOW, I Shall begin!

"Read, with the name of YOUR LORD who has created (everything)..."

2007-09-11T09:47:00.001+08:00

notice my post down there?? hehe, made a mistake with the colour... I thought I wanted black (since on the edit section it is black in colour) whereas I need white actually... oops.. But, kinda cue don't u think?? I think I'll repost.. But this one down here, I'll leave it as it is... hehe

Still In The Making

2007-09-11T09:22:00.000+08:00

World Map of Happiness

2007-08-13T10:36:00.000+08:00

I was browsing through the Internet just now to find some stuffs... Then, I stumbled upon this research by University of Leicester, a uni I once hoped to get into... Know what I found??

The World Map of Happiness...

I am just happy looking at the name.. ahaha.

Well, happiness is mainly gauged by wealth, health and education (the page mentioned something out correlation but... IB stats ruled out this one... so, have no clue about them!) What's more interesting is that, Malaysia's in the top 20, at no. 17 to be exact, on top of all Asian countries, except for Brunei. Yes, Brunei did better than us. They made it to top 10 in fact...

Whoa!! Isn't that amazing?? So, can we conclude that Malaysians are a bunch of happy people?? I can say that I am!

Oh, you can try and visit this page... don't have the full listing though...

http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/48276.php

Happy happy happy me!!

But, you know what's the ultimate happiness?? A love for family, friends, and foes... yup,, foes included... AND not forgetting, Lots of love for Allah, Ar-Rasul s.a.w and the Ummah...

"He it is Who sent down peace of reassurance into the hearts of the believers that they might add faith unto their faith. Allah's are the hosts of the heavens and the earth, and Allah is ever Knower, Wise." (Al-Fath 48:4)

Islam in Russia

2007-08-12T11:31:00.000+08:00

I just remember something. One of the days we had in Russia, we visited the Kremlin, the centre of Russian administration... where Vladimir Putin has his offices (He has two offices - I think). So, in the Kremlin itself, there are 7 churches, each has its own function. You see, during the Tsar-ruling time, the Tsar would have a church to himself, he doesn't share. So, one church was for him, another for his wife, one for the coronation.... and some more I just can't remember the details... I even got to see a procession in a church which was... em... scary but beautiful. Russia is a centre of Orthodox Christianity. So, during the procession, I saw a couple of ladies wearing full hijab (I can say this... can I?) Huhu, I was proud... but sad thinking that they aren't Muslims....

Nonetheless,what I want to share is that what I saw at the Museum in Kremlin... yes, they have a museum in the compound... (Imagine Kremlin as a gated community, maybe like Istana Negara with lots of buildings.. and those who caught tresspassing, will be sent to Siberia!!)

There were a few armours given to the Tsars, worn by the tsar (and his soldiers) and so forth.. what is interesting is that one of the armours has Arabic inscription on it... I can't remember what it said (or is it I couldn't read it??) but the point is... It's ARABIC!!!

Huhu, I was so proud thinking that the Muslims reached Russia during that time... even though Muslim's aren't the biggest group there, or should I say prctising Muslims... knowing that the effort was done was uplifting...

It gave some sort of 'semangat' for me to be really keen on this path that I chose. I no longer want to be labelled as a 'scratch and win' Muslim, but a true Muslim who chose her own path. Yes, thanks to my mom and dad who did wonderful job shaping me into this...

YEEHAW!!! let's do it people... Let's the spread the words of peace... spread Salam... Spread Islam...!!!

Life in Russia

2007-08-11T09:44:00.001+08:00

I never wrote this before... but after a few friends asking how's Russia bla bla bla and I kept on telling the same stroy... why don't I just relate it here...and stop bothering about telling it to the world. Sounds nice??

Yup!

Russia was last month's story.. huhu, took a while to actually absorb what happened there. Stayed there for 10 days, sponsored by the government (Thanx!). The main point is... is happiness and satisfaction is 100%, I think I'll give my 10 days there a 70%. A 'B' for the trip... sounds pretty good ain't it? Well, if you compare to Korea which I gave 150%... does it still sound good??

Nah, I'm not condemning anyone... just a few cents...

But, one lesson I learned in Russia is the treacherous overseas life (oooppsss.. exaggerating!). Few challenges:
1. Language : Please practice on your sign language coz in a country where most people speak only native language, or refuse to speak other language... sign language is a treasure!!

2. Food : Where ever you go, don't forget to bring some local food. Be it the famous serunding Klate, rendang tok perak (not advisable since it's moist...) and lots of instant noodles. Their taste will be different and the status of us being Muslims makes it more meaningful. Huhu, gotta be really careful what you eat. SEAFOOD ONLY!!
oh, there was one time I was really x15 hungry... and they stopped by the hotdog kiosk letting everyone buy something... I can just smell, hoping the smell would at least calm me... The smell was exactly the same as in Malaysia. But I wonder what the ingredients are...

3. Yourself : Well, this is kinda subjective. You see... other people have the tendency to hold people or stand very closely to take photos... wah!!!! I am so scared when I relate this... But the moral is... stand up to your principle and in this case... don't just simply go with the flow... coz trust me, you'll be regretful.. BIG time!

Hmm... I met a few people from other countries and as I get to know them better, I get to know that they are Muslims... they were so surprised as I had my hijab on, and that I'm practicing my religion as my way of life. They say that religion, or Islam, is only like a tradition in their country. Not many people practice it anymore... I felt like crying when I heard this. How can a Muslim utter such words?? It broke my heart knowing that. And my heart shattered thinking again that I didn't work as hard to convince her that practicing Islam is really beautiful.

Huhu... I hope that that will not happen to me, my family, my friends, or Malaysia. I still believe that Islam will be strong here, like it was in the 15th century...

Ya Rabbi, please guide us as You are our Guide, only You we worship, and only You we ask fro help..... amin ya rabbal alamin.

Uhuks... I think I'm going down with a fever...

Posting 1 2 3

2007-08-10T13:00:00.000+08:00

Hmm... I thought of posting sumthing... but, suddenly I feel one big chunk of laziness has befallen upon me... so, not today... But I want to say something...

Alhamdulillah... I made my decision after one week of deliberation... which really took a toll on me.. Hai, camne nak jadi doctor who has to make quick and correct decision ni? I've so indeisive in this matter (which not to be discussed here...)

Uhuks... having a sore throat.. perhaps from the thinking?? Huhu, tense can really get me. Once I'm tensed, everything would go haywire...

ok.. it has been erm.. half an hour of writing.. with intervals helping my mom cooking lunch (basically the only thing I do to help around). Lunch is almost ready... yay!!

I hope my decision pays off...

Tawakkal 'alallah... Trust Him, He will provide the best for you.. and me... ;)

Angry Me...

2007-07-13T08:45:00.000+08:00

Do you realise that u've changed over the years that you grow up? So, when you do, do you wish you can go back to the old you? If she/he[the person you were back then] was a good person... why not? But what if he/she was not? What if suddenly you realised that you have changed back?

Regret?

Frustration?

or elated?

Mine would be a big regret. For the past year, since an event happened, I think I've switched back to the old me. Always angry, purposely make others angry, and just love the atmosphere when I'm invisible and no one bothers about me coz why? I wouldn't care less. Huh!

But I forgot that it was the sad me. Lonely. No one can come close to me, no one even dared. My EQ again : 0.00. I will never let anyone cross my emotions... never!

Many of my friends wouldn't believe this. "Hey, she is a euphoric person. She needs a tranquilizer, not anti-depressant!"

Well, I wish I'm back to whom I appear to be. I am that person. It's just that for the time being, can everyone just cooperate and let me release my anguish for just another day.

"The strongest among you are not those who strong in wrestling, but the one who controls their anger" - Hadeeth, Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w)

This is among the sayings (would like to qoute the Holy Qur'an but it's not here with me now and I don't dare to make my own translations) that keep my both feet to the ground, and my lips close enough to make other just surprised.

Oh God, please, take this anger away from me. Please help me remain calm and composed. O Allah, please, make my mind and heart at ease. Please forgive me... and help me forgive others... Amin...

Am I as Hard as Granite??

2007-07-10T23:56:00.000+08:00

Hmm... first thing I thought about blogging was my FS blog. But I've made a promise to myself not to blog there anymore... it's too public. So, let's start here

I was reading my friend's blog just now. Well, we just received our results last Friday. I did enough to gain entrance to uni, but not my friends.... Huhu.. I felt so sorry for them. I wish I could give my place at one uni to them, since I'll be getting two offers. Aaarrggghhhh!!!

Then I realised. Of all the things happened to me, I never cried for a long long time. I used to be a cry baby actually. Almost all the small things happen I cried. I remembered those nights when I was crying till I slept, and my eyes couldn't be opened due to the 'taik mata' sticking like glue.

Re-check. Have I grown strong[my sis used to call me iron-lady] or it's just my heart has turned into stone?? No, pleae don't let it turn into stone.

Ya Allah, please don't let my heart become a stone. Let it harden for me to face the tests you've planned for me. But please, please let it soften with a teardrop of repentence. O Allah, please. Take care of my heart, as You are the Only Owner of it...

Live Life...

2007-06-15T23:36:00.000+08:00

Hmm... another blog. I'm not sure of keeping this up but I'll try.

4 the time being, live life. My life... still a secret...;)